Waiting by the frozen window
Your cellophane smile etched into your lifeless face
Like a livid scar that never fades
While you stare forever into the hollow endless twilight
Holding your breath
To keep the glass from fogging
I wonder how long you'll stand there
Before you realize
That precious message you await
(your permission form to greater destiny)
Isn't coming
And never will
As long as you are there
Forever turned from the actual chance to live
The same pathetic silk flower
Clutched in your spindly pale fingers
I pray that soon a new question will cross your mind
And perhaps leave a lasting disquieting mark
That maybe you were wrong
And should abandon your plastic mannequin ways
A contest entry
- -- Word Bank -- by Noir mariposa...x.
550 points, ended November 1, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
"I pray that soon a new question will cross your mind
And perhaps leave a lasting disquieting mark
That maybe you were wrong
And should abandon your plastic maniquin ways"
I think this is the strongest part out of the whole piece, and definitely my favourite bit.
A very strong and defining piece. I think my only criticism is maniquin is spelt mannequin.
Other than that, great write
Thank you for entering!
Claire x
-
To keep the glass from fogging
I wonder how long you'll stand there
Before you realize
i loved those lines..
uve written a great piece here !!
amazinnggg imagery!!
much love and good luck in life !
Anagha-Nataraj
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