I press my hand
Against the frosted glass
That separates us
Holding it there
Till crystals retreat
From numb sticking fingertips
Gathered in to be
Rubbed, blown
Tucked in armpit hopes
That when you look my way
You remember the touch
of my hands, my words
my love
Thrown across
The great divide
Author notes
There is a lot of pain in love
A contest entry
- Z is for Zaishiki by just mercedes.
1000 points, ended October 28, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Aww, this is beautiful! Such wonderful imagery, that I could experience it. Love "Tucked in armpit hopes"
KW~
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Thank you for this entry in the contest. I like where the prompt poem took you - as a protest against death you offer life and love, with a beautiful image of a hand pressed against glass, cold but sending warmth. I do like the armpit hopes, touching.
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i like the metaphor of frosted glass - lovely, vivid imagery. i know what you mean by armpit hopes, but i believe the phrase detracts from the ambiance (or should i say aroma heehee) of the overall poem. i happen to be a fan of armpits myself. and i had a friend in highschool who claimed to enjoy going to the boy's basketball games just to admire a few good hirsute underarms. but unfortunately armpits are most often associated with unpleasant odor (in our society).
Maybe 'pocket' hopes? - Nangaleema
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sometimes love stinks
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I like the armpit hopes; that's a strong, vivid image, and I like the image of the hand against the frosted glass.
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There is a beauty in this that I love. I can feel the cold and pain in this, but also a warmth at the thoughts of love that make me smile.
All the best...Sue
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I like this very much, but ...the word "armpit" should never appear in a love poem!
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You are just showing your lack of imagination...
An armpit, cared for, is a very intimate, warm place
A shoulder fits there nicely
When comfort is offered -
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...maybe I should just wash more often.
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Yep
Sometimes wish I was just a heartless bastard.
Nice visual here.
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yes, Poet, there is a lot of pain
in love...but to love completely,
no matter how long, is worth whatever
comes. This touched me completely.
Love, Lane
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