Hust'lin' and Bust'lin' by SilverQ at All poetry

We are all a hust'lin',

doing naught but bust'lin'.

Always hurried,

always worried!

In a panic,

we are manic!

We never stop to feel the breeze,

we never look up in the trees.

So much stress,

It's a mess!

We shed tears,

for Anxious fears!

We don't gaze up at stary skies,

we never ponder hows or whys.

"Don't be slow,

it's time to go!"

"We can't wait,

we'll be late!"

STOP!!!

Take some time to feel the breeze,

Go ahead and climb some trees!

Ride a bike,

take a hike!

Scale up a mountain,

wish in a fountain!

Gaze up into stary skies,

Ponder ALL the hows and whys!

Read a book,

next to a brook.

Just sit there,

and breath the air.

Take a look around and see,

The wonder of God's majesty!

Author notes

Watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yQW_4zNt_w

In a list

A contest entry

Buried Treasure Chest- ( CONTEST ) by Acidanthra. 800 points, ended October 27, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

This is my best poem yet! (In my opinon) Please give me comments and advice.

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

By me, right now

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KatherineAnne
April 5

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This was great! I loved your rhyme scheme and the way this flowed.
"In a panic,

we are manic!

STOP!"

These were powerful words and a great asset to your poem. Loved it!
Desdmona
February 20

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Wonderful! Great job. I like the last lines. The "STOP" is very powerful too. Good message and it's well potrayed. Keep up the good work. Nicely done.
MysteryMan13
January 14

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Yes and No...
Hey, thats an awesome peom. It realy describes a person in todays world. I think you could improve by making it a flowing story poem not just couplets. Then it would give the reader a flowing emotionall sense.
jadeangyal
December 18, 2008

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We don't gaze up at stary skies,--should be starry skies.
Loved the beginning of the poem. The couplet construction gave it a quick and frazzled pace. The spacing around the work STOP was great. It slowed me down. But afterwards, it would have been cool to use a different rhyming scheme to slow it down, like ABAB instead of AA BB. Good job. Beautiful video. Thanks for sharing.
iguana54
November 28, 2008

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nice, i like the morrell and would like to see you write more of these. i do alot of this stuff and am always telling my mum to slow down! hope you write more poems with the same morrell, and have given you all three little funny people for writing on such a good point alone.
sonik
November 11, 2008

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hey :-) well, i like this one. read also one about graveyards under the snow...this one has little message to give - to do normal stuff, that seems not normal anymore as the abnormal is now normal....anyway, liked it .
- SilverQ
  November 11, 2008
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  "to do normal stuff, that seems not normal anymore as the abnormal is now normal"
  
  Lol =). Thank you for your kind comment.
loafy
October 30, 2008

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I thought this was a song. This poem bothered me because the hustlin and bustlin was only used once. This stanza or chorus, should be added various times through out the poem. Makes it stand out.
word20dragon
October 16, 2008

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Not a fan of rhyme
I am not a big fan of the rhyming poem but in this cace this poem does rhyming very well.
try using more metaphore in your work
myrataal
October 16, 2008

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Thank you so much ...
for giving me a few minutes of undiluted and Divine Love! Praise to the Lord. X

Love
Myra
myrataal
October 16, 2008
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I did not watch the video yet ...
but before I do, I want to say this:

I simply LOVED how you postulated and then applied. A clear poem, and in clarity the reminder of LIFE and LOVE.

We are in a frenzy. And it shows, as your poem indicated.

Well done!

Now let me go look that video ...

Love
Myra