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Maybe You Didn't Know

For some reason,
My eyes start to ache,
When I think of you,
Forgetting me.
I'm tougher than this,
Stronger than missed words,
And your casualness,

When I ask you questions,

In pursuit of your acknowledgement.

Why does it still hurt,

To know that you don't care?

After all these years,

Shouldn't the ache have healed?

Yet here I am,

Still clammering for your attention,

Like a puppy you taught to heal,

Then abondaned.

You just can read me so well,

And I want to know what you think,

Even if it kills me.

Maybe you would shrug your shoulders,

Claiming innocence,

And maybe you are.

And maybe it's me.

I just thought...

Maybe that's what it is,

I think too much,

And I just can't pry my fingers away,

Because the thoughts are distracting me?

Author notes

This is very, very far from what I'm wanting. I'm finding it hard to encompass all the feelings, so please tell me what you think. It would help guide me.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's the intermittent attention followed by indifference that hurts the most, isn't it? And we know we deserve more, better -- yet we so want to be felt and understood and responded to... I would break this into parts to emphasize particular thoughts, for example the last 5 lines could be separated from the rest of the poem, to give your own conclusions about your obsession more emphasis. You have some excellent images to illustrate the other's behavior: "like a puppy you taught to heel (or did you really mean "heal"?) and then abandoned" and "maybe you would shrug your shoulders, claiming innocence" -- so descriptive of the painful combination of "attention/inattention" that hurts so much. A good read, pulling us into your feelings very well.