i come to thee, O glorious Lord,
palms turned t'ward the deepening sky
thine heart sore impure
for Your Grace that i forsake
a runagate shunned
from the comforts of Your heeding eyes
i come to thee, O Lord,
palms stained of Your mistakes...
Onto these knees scarred I fall afore
the glory both You and I longingly seek
within the depths of my eternal soul
I have dissembled faith and fable true
the runagate scorned desperate
in the cleansing barrens held at Your feet
cast me again in these teeth bared and clenched
from upon your golden perch-
that I shall forever eschew.
Author notes
So be it.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well... let me throw you at the wall first... Following old English does not make the poetry any better. I agree that some old English is quite astonishing and some is used currently. However, we are not back in London where the puffing smock stacks turn air black.
Now... I thought you did an excellent job with several things. It was readable despite the old English. It was very heartfelt and the style was good. It seemed as though it came from your heart and I loved it. Just because you use old English doesn't make your poem bad, because it is, in fact very good, I am just pointing out something that I hope is helpful. Overall, good job.
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i appreciate the comment. i apologize for my reply is a tad bit late for it's been awhile since i've been back here at AP.
"Following old English does not make the poetry any better"
i couldn't agree more, my friend. This "poem" started out as an actual prayer (no idea what came over me) in the style of what i've always seen in the KJV Bible. But along the way it evolved into what we have here now.
"we are not back in London where the puffing smock stacks turn air black." That made me laugh...thanks. lol
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very deep. I'm not very religious but have recently reached out to God myself for some spiritual guidance.
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interesting poem. ofcourse, i cant read regular english half the time..lol..sooooooooooo....but i did enjoy it.
blu
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