The part of me you see
is moving toward the light
dancing with sunbeams,
hoping with a clever compliment
and winsome dance
to snare the sun.
But down below
I hunger for the dark
and burrow deep
with greedy teeth
to break the crust
and suck the sweet wet underneath.
A contest entry
- Wool sweater and an old chair. by Freswinn.
700 points, ended October 25, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great extended metaphor, the final three lines quite disturbing in their reminder of the cycle of life and death.
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Awesome!!
Powerful, metaphoric surrealism!! 
Congratulations on the Emerald Cup, and best wishes to you always!! Peace, xx Cyn 
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Wow. I thought this was an interesting poem that you have penned in here.
It is short but I love the contrasts of how you are on the outside compared with how you are in on the inside. I really thought the last three lines were really striking and strong. I could really see that part. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself.
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awww
this is great.
i love how each stanza tells about the upper and lower half of the tree.
it is a very imaginative piece with such lovely imagery.
thanks so much for sharing this, it is a wonderful piece,
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good
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Very nice. Very nice.
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