It was that one thing you said...
One thing that triggered my thoughts
One small sentence that got me scared
Scared to uncontrollable tears
Unable to sleep;
Even my powerful mind had trouble
Blocking the thoughts out
I went crazy
Six words; so simple apart,
Yet so complex together
I
can't
handle
being
without
you
We both know that things won't work out long term
We know we'll be apart eventually
But those six words...
Make me fear it so much
What do you mean you can't handle it?..
What are you going to do?..
My mind wandered to the possibilities
But only the detrimental few..
Would you drink yourself into oblivion?
Am I making you an alcoholic?
Would you isolate yourself?
Am I making you lonely?
Or would you end your own life?
Am I making you suicidal?
That's the one that scared me...
All the choices I've made,
Are they making you worse?
Am I killing you?
How do I know for sure?
You promised you'd never do something like that...
But will that change once we're apart?
I can't predict the future...
I can picture it way too well
And it scares me
I feel the guilt eating me away
As if it's already happened
Just please...
Please don't.
Author notes
Really hard to write this...
We had a discussion last night about what would happen when I find someone else...and he was talking about how he wouldn't be able to handle being without me...and I got so scared...I started thinking about the future and what could happen...and I just don't want that day to come because I'm scared...
I just hope he knows what something like that would do to me...and that even if we're apart, I still care about him...I really do, and I always will.
In a list
Comments
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the tangled emotions in this are overwhelming and subtly beautiful.
what expressiveness!
all i can say is HUGE HEARTBREAKING CLAPPIES
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wow! this is really emotional. i loce how you've penned this in such a simple way and yet the emotions and the feeling here are so raw and pure and real. this poem is so sad. it triggered tears in my eyes. i'm so sorry you're put through this hell, i understand it must be really peinful to have to make such an important decision in your life. your last stanza was short, yet it spoke a million words. keep the faith alive, and i hope things work out soon. love ya!
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Amazing
I can really relate to this...I've just recently been in the exact same situation...well I still kinda am. I was in a long-distance relationship which I ended and now I'm dating someone else, someone who lives closer. I try talking to my ex but everytime I can tell how depressed he is, and it scares me as well. But anyways, enough about me, this is a deep, beautifully written poem
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He promised he'd never hurt you and never leave you...and promises you don't have to worry about anything...except being lonely...because without you he's lonely...he doesn't blame you for it...because it's not your fault...
But you're lucky...his heart will always be with you...you don't have to worry about his heart leaving you out of nowhere...he worries everyday that your heart is going to leave...
You shouldn't think your killing him...your the only thing keeping him sane...going...
He'll never leave you...and it hurts that you probably will leave him...that's why he's permanently heartbroken...
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