Red Eyes

Behold, the pale moonlight
As it flickers across my face
Silvery light and shadows playing a game of catch through the dark caverns of my skull
My facial features distorted as shadows nest in the cracks
Reminders of the taint  in my heart
As I enter the bar
“ Hey  bartender, whiskey. And keep them coming, we got a long night ahead of us!” 
As the whiskey burn in my throat, memories arise from their graves to haunt me
And I give in to my thoughts
-
Oh true, it was many years ago
In my youth, in my prime
When walking down the streets of my hometown,  people would turn around and say:
“ Now, that is a fine looking young man”
And I would smile politely, keep up my disguise
They were innocent, not like me, for I knew...
Play the game, always play the game
Keep the beast locked away
Always keep it chained
-
Nightmares, screams in the night
And I would wake up crying
Remembering nothing but the eyes, yes the red eyes
Always, always looking at me, gazing into my very soul
Demanding a prize yet unknown
-
Red eyes in the night
-
Life held no joy, the air I breathed seemed to me a toxic fume
My food turned to dust when I ate
No water could clench my thirst
I became a ghost, drifting through the streets like a shadow
Oblivious to everything and everyone 
And in the shadows – the red eyes
Watching...
Waiting...
-
There was this girl who lived nearby
Mary-Lou
I have never seen a prettier flower
She was like a dessert rose
Marked by the harsh life we lived in our town
Yet she refused to budge
I always thought of her as a rose in garden overgrown with weeds and thorns
Nothing would break her, she would not allow it
-
Needless to say I worshiped her
Week after week, the priest spoke of Christ and his never ending love
But I knew secretly, that what I prayed for was not the spiritual love of our lord Christ
But the carnal love of Mary-Lou
-
Week after week, I would haunt her steps
Watching her from the shadows, as she did her groceries shopping
My eyes would be on her, as she went about in town
And when she returned to the homestead, I would steal a final glimpse of her through the widow panes     
Upon which I would return home, my heart pounding in my chest, my face red
My soul craving her love 
-
But the shadow that was me
She saw it not
I drifted about in ignorance
Never once did she threw a glance in my direction
And how I suffered as the fires of my heart was put out
Leaving only the cold embers behind
Dying and full of bitterness
-
And the red eyes mocking me from the shadows...
Darkness brewing in the sky, the silence before the storm
-
I was persistent, oh yes, I endured my craving
Though my heart writhed in agony, I kept my distance
For she was not mine, no, her heart belonged to someone else
A guy called Markham, a traveling merchant
-
I would see him the local bar, sitting night after night
Drinking his whiskey in solitude, his eyes red in the glow of the fire
Harboring dark notions, eyes gleaming dangerously over the rim of his mug
A man somehow similar to myself, red eyes burning in his mind
Poisoning his thoughts with crimson  desires
A beast in the shape of a man 
-
And my inner beast staring back
Upon the beast sitting there in plain sight
Two primitive beings
Both coveting the same thing, the same object, the same emotional response 
Locked in mutual rivalry
My darkness reflected in his eyes
And his in mine
A crimson void of carnage and death
We both knew it was only a matter of time
-
Weeks passed by in a crimson daze
Wherever I turned I thought to see them together
Markham and my beautiful Mary-Lou 
Depriving me of sleep, leaving me alone to brood
And darkness grew in the horizon
-
Yet still I loved my precious rose
My Mary-Lou, the keeper of my heart
Yet still, upon seeing her kissing Markham
I felt the beast arise
But I uttered not one word
-
Years went by our little town
Mary-Lou, now Mrs. Markham
And gradually I died inside
I crawled into a bottle and died
-
Until that fateful night when passing by the Markham house, I had screams and heavy breathing
Stealthily I entered the house through the back door
They lay in the bed naked, the brute raping my flower
An anger arose in me, the likes of which I had never known before
And making my way to the courtyard I grasped the axe from the chopping block and re-entered the household, bringing down upon this serpent the divine wrath of god
I still remember, the blood seemed to boil, and his eyes blood-shot, as he turned and glared at me, features frozen in mask of pain and anger, as I embedded the axe in his back.
I remember, he tried to take the axe from me but I fended him off easily and as he fell to the flour moaning, I lifted once more the axe above my head and cleaved his skull in half
For a while I just stood there, looking down upon my dead foe, while a strange peace settled over me.
Then I turned to Mary-Lou
She lay crying on the floor, her form covering the body of her dead husband
Then she looked at me, face tear-stained, eyes blank with fear and disgust
Condemning me even though I did it all for her 
But I knew she didn’t mean it, she was wrong I loved her
But you know, when she started screaming for help – I had to shut her up
-
So now you know why I left my hometown
Why I came here tonight, seeking the anonymity of the crowd 
Don’t bother to call the authorities 
They won’t make it here in time
And  I will be on my way soon enough
Thanks for the drink
-
The road is dark
And I feel free tonight
Within, the beast slumbers
Its red eyes closed
The price is paid