naked the hawthorn
gone even its scarlet fruit
grey in drizzling dawn
In a list
A contest entry
- Fall into Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended October 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Excellent
Very well written, indeed. Your minimalist description is quite apt, to say the least. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, will done. -
Namaste
a sublime vision, one of my very favorite trees. a very fitting memory painted in your words
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Oh my gosh this is an excellent write and I really love the flow deptyh and true ebauty conspired within this write and I really found it to be breath-takingly beautiful over all. anyw ays just a very well penned Haiku and loved it. keep up the good work
and good luck in the contest =)
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This is the first aubade haiku I have seen. Wow.
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delightful glitch felt
I enjoyed how this progressed from one reinforced emptiness of brightness to a reevaluation by if "grey in drizzling dawn" clears. like not being permanently pessimistic when remembering contigency of not seeing sun above clouds maybe. my daughter particularly liked that parallel of morning color to such produce --to help along a productive day's feeling I'd add.
or it could be literal all the way through for a laugh, like harvesting occured before cold weather, face to facet without such agh now possibly... but cyled thought of aha came through! and resonance there would be served of tranferred cheeriness when you can't go out to it easily stayingly.
the subdued background with flashes of link font is extra clever,
call me Carolyn
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Thanks,Carolyn,it is gratifying to see that my poem gave you a moment of relexion that you enjoyed with your daughter!
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this left me feeling raw like a hatchling
startling yet sweet morning on earth
i liked where you took me within myself here
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Thanks for your most poetic analysis!
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