Inside a dream is a blacken fence
stabbing at my heart to lost,
always yearning tenderness
but burtial they have ravaged me,
as a ragdoll to toss around
and unweave my threads to tears,
dangled on a post and whipped to shame,
reaching for the good book
holds sanity true and searching,
a Santa Claus will bring me someone
delicate with love, manly in attirer,
tears,fears all I need is a loving, dear
and send me your niceness.
A contest entry
- SAD Poetry--- Let Me Have Your Best by Ativan.
900 points, ended November 2, 2008, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Very well written! Grats on the silver!
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I thought this was a very good poem. The punctuation was a little off and instead of saying dream is there a subtle way you could induce the notion? Perhaps, you might not even tell them it is a dream. Leaving the reader guessing is always good. Think of the many famous stories that leave you guessing. Poe does it and that would be considered recently. Overall, I really liked it and it has somber tone. Excellent!
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So sad
I hope you do find that special someone! Life becomes so much more when there is someone to share it with! This is a good write with lots of emotion, The Shaker
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