i. on call:
I was always there when you needed a hand,
I was there giving you my backbone
and watching,
with moon-tears in my eyes
of how you just took it
and didn’t watch me fall down.
I was your motivation at all nightly hours,
and even when the stars didn’t shine
you would call me up
and I would do everything I could
to keep you with me,
even if it meant not sleeping for weeks,
and titling my life, ‘use me, I really don’t mind’
but really, I did,
I just didn’t know it.
I was after all, your lifeline.
ii. put on hold:
I called you once at the office,
waiting for you to pick up
while the telephone music played.
you know the jazzy-upbeat,
make you want to hurl type music?
the one that totally doesn’t fit the scenario
of waiting for a call, waiting for your life.
the one that makes me think
that you really don’t care
and you’re really out
somewhere
in Vegas playing poker and going to strip clubs.
iii. standby:
I was just a doll,
forgotten,
with un-brushed hair and a crumpled, stained dress
thrown away into a chest
where you keep all your skeletal belongings,
occasionally taking them out to say sorry
but always changing your mind
just before the words come out
and then throwing them aside.
iv. answering machine:
the next time I called
I got to hear your voice
through the answering machine.
it would’ve made my day if you hadn’t said
‘hey, it’s me,
I’m out partying in Vegas
with the best people in the world
if you’re not here then you should
just not bother,
because I'm probably not as close
with you anyways’
the 'you' being emphasized to mean 'me' .
I was almost utterly alone.
v. dial tone:
everything fell apart.
everything that meant something to me
broke and fell away.
if I thought lending my spine
to someone I thought cared hurt,
this was way worse.
this felt like falling
from the top of a twenty story building
straight into cement, and still staying alive.
this was getting your heart
torn out of your chest cavity
and stuck with pins and needles
in all the weak places
by the one you loved most.
this was complete despair,
and acid rain burning my skin
worse than the many cigarette burns
on my palms and thighs, still caused by you.
this was me watching you
from afar and knowing there’s nothing
I can do to get you back.
this is caring too much
and getting too little.
this is the end of the phone calls,
the end of the answering machines
because apparently your phone-line has been cut off.
dial tones mean nothing to me anymore
and I’m to deaf to anyone’s cries.
vi. cut-off
I just want to pick up the phone
and hear that everything’s
going to be alright.
I know it won’t,
but I wish it would be.
make it stop.
Author notes
so this is the longest poem i've every written.
it's more prose=like than anything
each stanza is title something to do with telephones/calling beginning with
on-call (meaning i was needed) to dial tone/cut-off (meaning i am completely forgotten)
I hope you like it. cause i actually kinda do 
In a list
A contest entry
- sick. sick. sick. by hks.
850 points, ended November 13, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
that is pretty amazingly strong..
i would applaus but i only have one point. :[[
still, very nice poem -
-
thanks for the gold
and for the thought of applauding..its the thought that counts after all
glad you liked it!
-
-
I like the breakdown of the parts, this is a very good write. The emotion is so identifiable, and heart breaking. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
-
I was always that person providing the support...but it never mattered much to him, to either of them, to the trois of them. I hope it does this one.
My heart goes out, but it still weeps.
But at least I tried, it's all I humanly can do, I guess. -
this is caring too much
and getting too little.
Great line! Although I really enjoyed the stanza previous to that too. Your wording is fantastic!
-
This is really good. I can't tell you why I liked it so much...something about it just drew me in, and kept me there. You did awesome, because usually reading poems this long that don't rhyme is a chore, but I could have read more of this one. Great job!
-
this is an amazing poem, truly fantastic use of words, you should be very proud of this, i particularly liked this was getting your heart
torn out of your chest cavity
once again this is such a great write, id be honoured if you had a read of mine, with your talents i could get better ! -
-
thanks soo much
and sure i'll read some of your stuff!
-
-
back bone
is one word.
because I probably aren’t close
with you anyways’
the you being emphasized to mean me.
that's really awkward lol.
it should be "because I'm probably not as close
with you anyways"
the 'you' being emphasized to mean 'me'
or put them in italics or something
I had to read it a couple times to get the full meaning.
OH FUCK.
i love stanza iii.
and
this is caring too much
and getting too little.
this is the end of the phone calls,
the end of the answering machines
because apparently your phone-line has been cut off.
dial tones mean nothing to me anymore
and I’m to deaf to anyone’s cries.
wow. and all of v.
I know it won’t,
but I wish it will.
kind of awkward too.
"I know it won't,
but I wish it would be"
the last line is perfect, like most of this poem.
I love how it's like kind of mechanical like the whole phone theme (WHICH I ALSO LOVED)
fuck my life you're amazing.
literally
amazing.
that word was made to describe you.
<3
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
