Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

So many kisses

The kiss of the wind
upon my cheek
is like a kiss of life
as I walk along.

Flowers kiss my eyes,
the scent of lilac
and a wisp of rose
touch like kisses on my nose.

And when I stop for coffee,
the hot swallow courses
along my throat
with powerful renewal.

Author notes

Author's name: judyjudyjudy

A contest entry

So, what's your opinion of this?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • mbm
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    sparks of happiness when pecked in our environment...

    this is a brief reposturing from a surprise, finely within our elements as by love... especially the first two stanzas stating our satisfaction when softly reached by nature, like a stamp of the maker.

    The invigoration of the atmosphere opens my smile to turn as you to such side, to sigh notice more. the increasing contact of enjoyment from "Flowers kiss my eyes,
    the scent of lilac" was my daughter's favorite part with my tappingly recollecting and ah such scenes are interestingly for reminiscing, so much as for fondness ~

    the third section did abrubtly go indoors lol for connected imagery to go there, unless sun brewed haha --

    entertainingly and seriously touched to the heart with this,
    called Carolyn


  • penman gold member
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a great creation. And so well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • ennovy silver member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow Judy you have captured nature, and the spirit of humans in these words. Enjoying life can be just like a kiss....excellent...Novy


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar gold member
    October 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well the life and its environment is amalgamated through the beauty of the love and the depth of the kiss..the immages are very strongly representing the souls of the lovers..I love this expereince shown here ..and my thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece..well done..

  • ElectricBloom
    October 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very cute.
    You have some beautiful imagery throughout and you've clearly really thought about what you're writing. You've expressed yourself well.
    I love the shortness of the piece, simple and descriptive! The way I love poems!

    Authors name?

    ElectricBloom


  • spideracer
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    It's better

    the rewrite shows that you put a bit of thought into this poem, well expressed and flows well too.


  • Rclane gold member
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting take and nicely penned....luck to you.


  • Cynewulf
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice contest entry (You're a bit of a hippy deep down aren't you?)


  • spideracer
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with you in that I too think it feels a bit scattered, like maybe it's a little rushed. I do get what you're trying to say but I think it's one you could go back to for revising.

1 - 10 of 10