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Twilight

view
sunset
together
as twilight falls
bliss

Author notes

I haven't done many poems lately based on a specific form, so I am giving this a try.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Arkbear gold member
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hello

     

    First impression....L 1 is a weeee bit off in aesthetics......and as you join me more often for Poetry in Form, you will see I am a NUT for aesthetics when it comes to Forms ~

     

    However.........your imagery in this Lanturne is gorgeous.....love the moment of of the sun going down.....brings back a ton of memories......good luck & God bless you!

     

     

    Bear ~


  • KayJay
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm no expert... but the form seems right on. My impression is that this form is very Haiku like... so the last line(s) are the "aha" moment... I think you did it Well done and best of luck...
    Ken