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Its Us Forever

~I Address You~

SMILE
It makes me smile

All the while......
I think about you

Dont' Cry
but if you do...
want a shoulder???

Dont fret
I'm always there for you

You complete me so entirely..........I Love You

Lead your loyalty towards my faith
It wont fail in exempting many a tears
and shall drive away your fears

For what is it that you wait ... is it ;
for the sun to never set?
for the plants to never grow?
for me to stop caring???
for the moon to never glow???

~You Address Me~

' Love....I wait for;
the sun to rise in your eyes...
the plants to bind us closely....
your thoughts to hypnotize......
the moon to glow as you so freely....

Dont you understand????
You are the missing jigsaw in my me
You are the Love..Im the heart
You are the tree...Im the flowers
We both can never be apart......................

We complete each other......Entirely....Us forever
We were always meant to be together..........

Author notes

Tickly fish
A Dialogue between a couple with a minor setback

A contest entry

what do u think of my poem ?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Hikari Lady
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the way you wrote this and how it held so much hope, love, happiness and what's not. The farther I read the happier I seemed to become.
    Thanks for sharing it, it was a joy to read.
    Best of luck.

    ~Noor


  • FightOffYourDemons
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm, I do actually really like this. I like the concept and it actually sounds pretty good.
    But your grammar is riding my nerves. Severely.
    Okay it is a poem, I know so the grammar obviously does not need to be perfect but yours is distracting. I think that you should for one get rid of the ..... It is unnecessary in almost every form of writing. Anywhere that has a ... could just as easily have a comma or a period, or even in the case of this poem a space. Also I do wish you would use the ' button. it is important.

    Thanks for entering, comment if you fix these things I will take another look.

    Also which category would this be??

    Get back to me.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Humm..the intensity level of the poetry here is just wonderful and fascinating as well..thanks for sharing it..well done...


  • DarkWind
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    AWWWWWW

    Not quite as dark as I was looking for and not quite how I do reply poetry but a solid write none the less, well done. Thanx for entering, hope you do well.


    • Anu-Nataraj
      October 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i couyld come back trrw..n write another one....
      would u like that????

      • DarkWind
        October 16, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Maybe in my next reply contest, I really do like this its just not quite what I envisioned, which is by no means a bad thing, it is actually really good because I am always looking for new styles, interpretations, etc. This is really well written and I look forward to seeing how you handle the next challenge.
        Well done.

1 - 7 of 7