do you know what it is like
to be surrounded by vague shapes
and sounds
never being able to discern
between phantasms
and reality
where are all the memories...
who do they belong to...
these pictures all have
resemblance to what is real
to what I could have been
moments of shared laughter
shared afflictions
shared...
passion
what happened to
the clarity of
thought
probably missing
with my slippers...
frayed and foggy images
are all I have left
and I cannot claim
finite expansions of time
to measure their
passing...
my breath sounds like
wheeple farts and
no doubt smells
just as grand
my hands convulse harder
than any unbalanced washer
ever could...
afterall I am not getting any
younger...
would you like to feed the birds?
Author notes
My word:
"wheeple" and its meaning "to whistle feebly"
http://www.harrycutting.com/graphics/photos/elderly_people/sad-woman-K133-31-147.jpg
That picture was inspiration too
Thanks! I'm not going to lie.
This had me pulling my hair out. 
Yink 
A contest entry
- Word of the Day IV by Gaffer.
450 points, ended November 5, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Why don't you ask me a question?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Sorry it has taken me so long before posting a comment. I didn't want to rush my comments.
First of all, I really enjoyed the subject of this poem. It is not one that you see in poems very often. I thought it was very original.
It was very interesting how when the reader starts the poem, they don't really understand exactly what is going on or what the person is talking about. I think that was neat because it really mirrors the predicament that the subject is in... It takes a little while before the reader realizes exactly what is going on in the poem.
I like the questioning at the beginning... "where are all the memories" and "who do they belong to". The next lines are also great "these pictures all have/ resemblance to what is real/ to what I could have been". It really strikes a chord of sadness with the reader.
But then the poem starts to take a turn from sadness to some comedy at the point "what happened to the clarity of/thought/probably missing/with my slippers..." I really like the juxtaposition of the comedic aspects and the sad realizations.
I also really loved the line "and I cannot claim/finite expansions of time/to measure their/passing". There are so many other simple, straight-forward, mundane, and boring ways you could have gotten that point across, so I am so glad you choice the beautiful and graceful words that you did.
And of course there is the wheeple line, I think you worked that word into the poem beautifully. I think the descriptions of the wheeple fart breath keeps the comedic tone going, yet also has an undertone of sadness of pity to it, which I found interesting.
Also loved the comparison of the hands to the shaking washer.
One thing I am not sure about is the very last line about feeding the birds. I think the poem might have ended on a stronger note as just "after all, I am not getting any younger". But I am still unsure... maybe it could work, but to me it sticks out from the rest of the poem.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this and thought you did an awesome. job.
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I wanted the poem to be about an elderly suffering from more than just dementia. Hence why the ending line is a complete change of subject. Thanks for the comment. I am glad you appreciated my attempt.
Yink
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I think , on the whole, this is a terrific piece. It is rich and textured. The word wheeple though, is just not inclined to be a poetic term. It is way too much an whimisical term for this very wise write. Geo
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lol Don't I know it!
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Oh holy crap. you finally did it... the dreaded wheeple. It's such a nice, wistful and vaguely romantic/sentimental piece until you get to the wheepling, too... You should find out the contest holder's real world address and mail them stale cookies and sour milk for giving you such an undignified word
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I had to finish it. I know the contest doesn't end for another week but I was tired of dreaming of wheeple!!!!!!!! So now on to your contest...
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I like the correlation you created with the given word... quite creative
I also think you did a great job in piecing the decaying mind together
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