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Space to call my own { Gold }

Candles dance in flickered flames,

burning aubergine,

reflection back painful illusions,

for everything is fake.

 

Cardboard cut out,

silhouette blackens a mood.

 

Emerald envy greed's the green,

eyes that shard,

splicing opened old wounds.

 

I need time,

space to call my own,

freedom from a closet,

that is always closing in.

 




 



Author notes

http://pollina.deviantart.com/art/forever-rush-40263896
Option 2

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • MD Masroor
    October 23, 2008

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    Wow. Strong words and deep imagery. A great take on the prompt! I love how you structured the poem! It's amazing! Great piece of art! And good luck with the contest!


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW.. this is one powerful and very strong poem. the imagery throughout this write is absolutely fantastic. I could feel the emotional pain with each word.. you brought the reader into your thoughts with this poem

    Brilliant poem.

    good luck

    kat


  • Midnite wolf gold member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, again your use of imagery astounds, it brings such depth to this emotional piece, good luck in the contest, take care x


  • perfectsunset gold member
    October 16, 2008

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    Wow this was so full of depth,
    emotion, intense imagery and
    thoughts. So well-crafted
    and amazing elaborations.

    Loved this piece sis!
    Best of luck.. not like you need it though


  • Leonura
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The last few lines really spoke to me.. an emotional write.


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent imagery within this well written piece and good meter and flow!
    A very strong conclusion to this piece!
    Well Done!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the depth of the imagery here, 'Cardboard cut out' before 'silhouette blackens a mood' just adds so much more to it. I don't know how you keep doing it again and again, swap muses? An excellen write hun, good luck in your contest


  • chilali
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great take on the picture! Beautiful piece. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing


  • maralisa silver member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw julie a brillint poem I can relate to your words so deeply good luck in the contest my friend take care marina


  • ladyhelenaofsorrows
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really, really awesome! especially "reflecting back painful illusions, for everything is fake" good luck in the contest, this is great!


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent!! A marvelous write!! This is well written!1 This piece is truly perfect in every single way from words to background!! I love it!!


  • Paloszoo gold member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant little masterpiece you've penned for this prompt. It's definitely a winner in my eyes, my pet! Good luck in the contest!

1 - 13 of 13