lost in the atmospheric seasons.

I'm falling into dreams,
But I'm holding on to reality.

I'm tearing it apart in myfingers
like a tissue paper, shredding and degrading itself,
It's sole purpose is to fall and divide.

I walk the city line, blending into the background
Like a sky scraper in the frosted morning,
With smoke glazing the sunrise horizon. 
I feel the crystal, delicate air on my lips,
Like I feel your thoughts in my hips.

Heart beats and monitor flatlines hide in my eyes.
I scratch at them but only pull out nonsense and innocence,
Something everyone says that I should give up.
  (I don't know if I could though,


    it's a part of me.)


I sewed blacklights into my skin,
So everything I did would stand out under the pressure;;
I wanted my blood to glow neon
And my skin to drip with colors.
I wanted my bones to shine with luminance
And every time I wore a face, the shade of white,
I wanted to stand out.


[Stand out of the crowd;
Face foreward;
Back to Back;
Eyes shut;


Unsure?]


I hid love under my finger prints,
So everytime I touched your hand
You'd Know.
Instead I lost my finger prints,
And my whole identity,
When I lost my soul to lust;
Now everything I do is just a cheap immitation of
False perfection.  I'm hiding with the star fish under the ocean,
Because I'm not good enough to live with the stars in the sky.
I'm tripping over words you left behind and I've fallen so hard
I don't think I'll ever be able to get back up.



Fall is my new skin;
Colors painted on my pores, Every movement of mine crisp and fresh. 
The blossoming of dead life in my gaze.  I'm trying to rub this
sensation of evening breezes off my face but instead I'm stuck with
permanent numbers and equations that I can't figure out,
Smearing into a bigger mess,
  Transfering to my palms
  And dripping down my wrists;
Like the melting of a popsicle,
Coloring my lips a bright shade of strawberry red.



I'm living in the strawberry patches hoping I'll smell better than
This scent of desperation.  I'm trying to keep myself attatched to
the vines, but I'm breaking loose and I don't know where
to go.

[?]

Until I ink my thoughts into something tangible,
I'll fight my way through these rows of sacrifices,
And try to subside the feeling of my lungs swelling with hot air;
Like balloons, ascending into the sky,

Lost in the light of the sun
And the emptiness of the atmosphere.