To you, he gave, a precious gift,
But then reclaimed, silent and swift,
The chosen child, to you he'd lent,
Now your loss, as you wildly lament.
Try to pause, within heartbroken strife,
Remember the joy he brought to your life
Though few the years, and fast they flew,
He knew that you would see it through
For to raise a child, within your home,
While knowing he was only on loan,
Is to open your heart, with selfless will,
And his life's plan, you helped to fulfill.
Author notes
18. The chosen child
It's supposed to be about a young child dying, and explaining that the child was only 'on loan' from Heaven.
A contest entry
- Take my poem titles and use them in your poems! #2 by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended October 29, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - R.I.P Jeanna Maire a contest for a friends lost daughter by Kissing-in-the-rain.
1995 points, ended November 13, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Wow I have to say this poem touched my heart, it was very well written and the word structure was grreat. I really did enjoy reading this. So thank you for shareing this with us and entering it into the contest.
I would like to applogize for judging being drawed out as well, good luck adn keep writting.
Thank you,
Chelsey. -
Wow, this is a really touching poem. A great take on the prompt! Well done! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
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This is very sad it is hard to have then not to have the child of your dreams thank you for entering best wishes always be well
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Wow. This was deep. Really, I have a son of my own, I couldn't nor want to imagine a life without him. Although I don't get to see him for he lives with his mother I miss him very much and this makes me really wish I was there right now. Touched my heart. Amazing write.
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Its so hard to lose a child...we tend to think that they are here forever. Touching poem.
good luck in the contest
darlintlc
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I read your author's notes so I now know what this is "suppose" to be about, but you did such a great job of writing this in a diverse way that it can appeal to more than one type of parent... for instance.. the parent who has spent 18 years raising a child and is having a struggle letting them leave for college... the foster parent who now must give the child back to their real parents after having fallen in love with the child... the grandparent who has stepped in and raised the child for years while the parent was busy getting their own life together and now must relent the child back to the rightful parent and just be a grandparent again...ect. I think you will touch many a parent with this piece, not just those with whom the original meaning was intended... awsome job here dear!
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you pour it out,,and it does help to share,, beautiful lament good luck
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So sad
Beautiful and heartwrenching always hard to lose but a child I can't imagine. Best of luck in the contest and in life, Boog
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This is really beautiful. At first it's really depressed, but count your blessings! The rhyme is great, and though short, this is sweet and powerful. Good luck in the contest!
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aww sis this is so precious so beautiful and sweet!! Aw I absolutely love this!! You truly did a very amazing job!! I can tell that this came from your heart!!
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Brill poem
one of me sisters lost her baby
its so sad because they didn't have a chance in life
good luck in the contest
June
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thank you so much for your comment and the applauds
i'm truly sorry for the loss in your sister's life - i've never known anyone to lose a child but i can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be... 
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Ohh... forgot my applause
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Great write! It is very sweet and soft. It must have much importance in your life!
Sydney -
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thank you so much!
and hey, your name is Sydney! I'm moving to Sydney in a couple weeks 
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Great Poem
The poem is very good. I know what is like to know someone who lost a child. My cousin's son Baby Nate went to lord 15 days after his first birthday. Thanks for the great poem
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soft
perhaps a soft and sentimental verse to someone{ a father figure } who has enlightened ones life. Nevertheless a soft and sweet piece of poetry.
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thanks Bob! I'm not actually sure who I was directing this too - hopefully I@ll figure that out as I go along
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It's a very good start though. I think the idea is wonderful, just a bit of revising and you'll have yourself a keeper.
Don't get me wrong, it is a good write.
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