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"Pain and Anger"

your
pain and
anger can't
help to save your
life

Author notes

I hope it fits the rules correctly ^^""

A contest entry

What's your opinion?

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • KayJay
    October 15, 2008

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    A clear message... I'm no expert... but the form seems right on. My impression is that this form is very Haiku like... so the last line(s) are the "aha" moment... A well done effort and best of luck...
    Ken


  • Arkbear gold member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello

     

    Your aesthetics are a tad off.....as I take Poetry in Form very seriously....other than that, your mesage is pretty straight-forward.....am looking for more of an AHA moment.....but still nice job

     

    Good luck & God bless you!

     

    Bear ~