Had we but world enough and time,
Your delay might be sublime.
As it is, it's a shocking crime.
Don't keep me waiting.
We've already passed our long love's day
and had some terrific times on the way.
But now my patience starts to fray.
I don't like waiting.
Rubies by the river's side
or watching the ebbing ocean's tide,
it's all beginning to hurt my pride
because I don't like waiting.
Vegetable love, I've heard that before,
and frankly, I find it a bit of a bore.
Step up the pace and don't ignore
I really don't like waiting.
It's nice that you adore my breast,
nice that you say that but give it a rest.
Come on, honey, and give it your best.
Let's stop this crazy waiting.
Not vegetable, animal,
for time's becoming minimal.
You'd better find another gal
to do that endless waiting.
Author notes
Your rhymes triggered off thoughts of Andrew Marvell, for some reason, and I thought I would do a semi parody.
I can't get the link but I am SURE you are familiar with TO HIS COY MISTRESS. I will try again in the next few days.
Still trying!!!
A contest entry
- TRIPLETS ~ painlessly! #133 Allpoetry invited by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended October 31, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by poets whisper.
800 points, ended November 11, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, what's your opinion of this?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Both funny and recognizable -- who hasn't been there??! I enjoyed reading this and hope to read more.
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Nice. I like the repetition of waiting, it enforced the feeling of impatience. Nice rhyme and flow too which made it very readable. thank you for entering.
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I enjoyed the witty verse and pitied the poor, frustrated female. I must be dense, but I did not get the reference to "vegetable love". Triplets are a fun form that seem well suited to this type of parody. Peace, Liz
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I enjoyed it
The lady is not going to take it anymore! This was fun to read. The only way it could be "improved" if you want it that way, is to try for more regular meter. On the other hand, the spontaneity of these lines is charming.
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I don't know Marvell's poem that well, but the irritation of this impatient lady comes through clearly! I like the form, all the lines about waiting just heighten the sense that her suitor is in trouble!
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Well developed theme and nicely rhymed, thanks for the entry
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This is different...
I really enjoyed it! The development
is well done. G'luck in the contest
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I relate
I can relate to this poem, all the waiting and waiting I've had to endure more times then I care to remember. A little funny coming from a female as one would think that girls don't have that problem. Like the song goes, "girls can get it", anytime day or night. The first line, "Had we but world enough and time" doesn't quite make sense. Only a suggestion, "Had we but the world waiting and enough time" or something like that. Anyway what I'm saying is that the first line should be reworded. Apart from that, it's a good poem and one I could relate to.
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