I am
the unnumbered tears induced for humankind
the ravenousness you hide
the integrity you dishonor
the shameless beast
Arousing
I exist
In Festering Pustules of Oppression
beam realms of blood-red legions of unbigoted weaknesses
between layers of penetrating nails
amongst razors of fuming fires
Infuriating
I manifest
In blood hath wet, the devouring trodden walls
In sins provoked with tainting desires
the near damnation of mankind
lavishing in deaths of darkness
Feasting
Oh you lost soul deprived from faith
down hell’s corridors of flames
Immeasurable nights, fume the halls
searching for the forsaken sun
restless in anguish
petrified with no where to run
I am a testimony from hell
a creation of indifference
the massive ramparts of deep deviation
a reflection of your sinuosity
the disbelief in your compassion
a muse of your curiosity
Author notes
My theme: Welcome to Hell
*POY Contest*
A contest entry
- Luscious Lumps of Linquistic Lunacy by lunarlunacy.
513 points, ended October 19, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poem of the Year - POY - by Bear by Arkbear.
12500 points, ended January 1, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - darkside by emoempess.
700 points, ended May 16, 201 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
this is a great poetry
very dark
i like the flow emotions
thanks for the entry -
I liked the strong structure you built into the first three stanzas, had you kept that for the remaining two it would certainly have scored much more highly with me.
The content is good although it seemed to waver slightly and I enjoyed the theme, overall there is excellent work in here.
Jeff
-
Absolutley incredible work here.....I stand in ovation here in Arkansas.......we do that when great things happen
You have bumped another Poet out of my top ( 10 ) spots....well done and can I say.....I adore this write......yes, a common Theme.....but your twist is superb.....nothing else here to say, except....good luck!
God bless you!
Bear ~
-
-
Wow, you give me too much credit and leave me so honored and humbled. Not to mention speechless!
I’m ecstatic you enjoyed reading my poem, nothing else can top this!
Thank you for your kind feedback Arkbear =)
-
-
Hi there and welcome to the POY A theme I have seen on here many times before but non the less it is nicely written good luck and remember no editing once a judge has commeted.
-
Hi, and welcome to the POY
While your theme is not the most unique I've ever seen, you get major brownie-points from me for language, since you appealed to my more-verbose side. Oh, and you rocked the rhyme too!
Well done, and good luck!
Laura
-
-
Thank you for the time taken to read and comment my poem genuinely, it’s my first time in this kind of contest and it was a thrill to just be a part of it.
Yes I understand my theme is common, I relied on, my perhaps unique use of words and language, imagery to bring out the intensity; there’s always a poem that stands out in a crowd even when it’s theme is common. Anyways that’s just my opinion.
Immortal, I believe you saw what I wanted to reflect, that alone makes my day whether I win anything or not!
Again, thank you to all the judges, feedback is much appreciated! =)
-
-
Okay...AP is glitchy this morn!
My comment should read: theme not them...
Also you have used a lot of "filler" words...and...the...
thanks again for your entry! Will edit comment when can... -
Aloha and Welcome to POY!
Heaven and Hell are written about a lot...so them is not unique, however you have put a great spin on the message! Best wishes in the contest!
Write on.
Remember: No editing once a judge has commented. -
A very intriguing read. I felt the devil talking right in my face! You definitely madet this piece alive. You have awoken the devil!
I'm sorry, but there is not much I can add to this in forms of suggestions, cause it is out of my league :/
Congrats on the bronze!!
-
I love the imagery and the feeling that this poem conjures up. Your diction is pretty much spot on.
One thing:
"I manifest
In blood hath wet"
Do you mean "In blood that hath wet?" There were some parts like this that were a little ambiguous.
The second to last stanza really stands out to me, nice job. The closing of the poem was good, but I sort of wish there were more elaboration about your ideas there. I know that would make the stanza too long in comparison to the others, but I just wish some of those closing thoughts could be made more clear.
Excellent job
-
Outstanding
What impressed me most about this poem was the powerful imagery drawing a dark and haunting picture. I loved the last line the most but there is a lot to like here. Your writing goes from strength to strength. Congratulations on the trophy.
-
try saying 'ravenousness' ten times fast! XP
sorry -.-
Anyway, i really love you words! okay, so half i didnt know, but there was a mood that was set at the beginning that kept the whole way through...and this pretty much took care of the need to know exactly what the meaning of the word was, because as a whole, it has already spoken... not saying that its boring, ok? it was excellent, because i had to keep reading, because i wanted that little bit extra. the title was great, because it also set a sort of mood before you even begin to read, and 'i am a testimony from hell' is my favourite line. powerful to me =
-
-
LOL your comment made me laugh... (and -err... didnt get past saying it 3 times without messing it up!! haha)
Thankyou so very much for your feedback
!
-
-
WOW.
your word choice was so brilliant, absolutely amazing when read aloud. i love this!!!!!!
although, the colors hurt my eyes, maybe something still sharp to make the point, but not quite so bright and oww-ie.
-
From the depths
From the depths of Hell, springs the eternal quest to escape it...
Another awesome write. I love the freedom of your words!
-
Great poem , I liked your imagery as well as how you showed the different sides of the lost soul,
how it is manifested in society, and where it exists. Great job . I wrote a similar poem recently if you'd
like to read it go here
-
Powerful write, incredibly so. I can't believe I neglected to return and comment on this before finalizing the cast. This is so full of stark imagery and raw refined emotion. Kudos, thank you for sharing this great work with us all, and congrats.
-
Wow. I can't believe how you ended up winning bronze. Your poem has such vivid imagery, and the structure itself has such a serene flow to it. Just pure amazing..
-
prophesy of horror, and of course hell....wow. Your imagery is scathing and shockingly beautiful.Great job!
-
i was litterily in pain when i was reading this poem.. where did u get all this darkness from?? you brought the worst visions to my mind..best of luck for the contest.. this one was dark
-
This poem reminds me of the song by Merrick, "Infinity". Just as haunting, just as stunning. Wow, I'm deeply impressed by the vocabulary.
-
Deep, dark and horrifying. Sinister imagery from the bowels of Hellfire and Damnation. I love it! Best wishes in the comp.
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
