"Oh. You hurt me so. How can I stand such pain?"
She masks her face with both her hands, and dampens with the rain.
"How could you? Why would you? Was all of this in vein?
"Was all we did, was all we shared, nothing but inane?
"I wish I could forgive you, though it's driving me insane."
She sat upon a creaky bed in a room quite plain
The ceiling drips. The floorboards creek. The walls are water stained.
"If I were not myself right now, I'd see me with disdain.
"The only person in my life has riddled me with pain.
"To end myself is nearest to my settling my brain."
She stands, and turns herself around, breathing in some air
And rests her eyes upon a man, whose tied up to a chair
She walks around the bed and from his ear she moves his hair.
To whisper, "I'll kill you instead, and then laugh at despair."
A contest entry
- For The Liars, The Cheaters, The LOSERS!!! by PerfectImperfection.
600 points, ended November 13, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think of my poem?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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100th Hoodwink!
This surprised me all the way to the end, I am not usually a fan of rhyme but you do it so very well. Best to you
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Nicely done! This is indeed a surprising piece, thoughtful and poignant. Nice flow throughout. Thank you for your entry!
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Wow. Very creepy and very effective.
It was such a painful, sad piece in its beginning. Until it moved into revenge, which I appreciated.
Excellent use of rhyme and punctuation.
Welcome to Allpoetry
I hope that you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask
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Superb!
At first, I was expecting a whiney tale about
teenage hatred, based on the title.
But I read on...and...it blew me away.
I'm a huge fan of rhyme & this is a fine example
of how it's done. Thanks for sharing this & best
luck to you in the contest, though I feel you needn't any luck.
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