bare branches
shoulders hunched
- temperature plunges
Author notes
To me, autumn can only be imagined
A contest entry
- Fall into Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended October 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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bare branches
shoulders hunched
- temperature plunges
And very good imagination, you have brought out a good image with multiple meanings, an excellent haiku. Thank you so much!
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Hi azure85
Thank you.
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Yes, autumn is the best thing there is, and you have proved it with this haiku. Gorgeous write.
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Hi Freak-in-BlackJeans
Thank you. I am glad you like it.
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Very Nice
I really like the ebb and flow to this write. I mean I really like the over all quality depth and flow to this write as well. I mean what really stands out to me is how this Haiku was worded and also how incredibly easily it was to imagine all of this taking place as we all have first reactions to tense up to keep warmer but we should do quite the opposite as tensing up will cause muscle strains and spams ect. any ways a brilliant write and enjoyed it. good luck in the contest
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Hi SmokinHotWhiteTiger
I like the way you interpret this. I did not know tensing up will cause muscle strain.
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progressively felt
strange how the first two lines were of gallery not really joined until the caption of aha. because outside knowing of theme this was written for, they could've represented a tree cutter I've seen over his work. but you brought me out of recall, into the right color of fall...
great flash of the tilde to really lay the imprint, with resonance it's not boring with the pretty ground to stare at before the freeze takes action --
quick witted!
call me Carolyn -
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Hi Carolyn
Thank you.
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Hahaha!
Oh, I like teasing you, pengyou Lee!
I really laugh being silly with you here.
I know....
summer51 -
...soon!
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Dogfish
Yes, soon ....... and then it's spring again!
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Very vivid image of Autumn.
So, autumn can mean the last season of human life, no?
Good luck, pengyou Lee in all the Haiku contests you join in.
summer51
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Hi summer
Thank you. I am trying very hard to chase you in terms of trophies. Are you learning Mandarin now? last season of Human life? Nah, it's just another phase.
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What is "pahse?" Mandarin or Malay word?
summer51 -
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Hi summer
Sorry, should be phase. You don't even know what language you are learning? Pen tan.
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What's Pen Tan?
The color of the pen is tan?
That I really don't know, eh... hehehe!
Hope those are nice words ha?
summer51
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Hi summer
Ask your Mandarin teacher. Hint: tan is egg.
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Hello, pengyou Lee.
Weishen me? You don't have to "chase" me in terms of trophies. Just "walk" slowly.... and you will get there. don't be in a hurry... you're still young...
That's Mandarin? Awww... I thought I'm learning Bahasa Malay, eh.
summer51
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Lee, great image. A high of 82 degrees here two days ago, now more seasonably, a cool gentle rain.
YOu imagine well!!!
I could send you a bag of gold-dipped yellow leaves
that are drifting down to cover the still-green lawn!
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Hi Aesthete
82 degrees? Is it Indian summer? Gold-dipped yellow leaves drifting down from the sky! Wow! That would be a sight to behold! But the raking!!! Sigh.
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great image - i can see bare branches as hunched shoulders.
though I guess for you most trees are evergreen, and the temperature doesn't vary much.
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Hi pania
Thank you. Yes, for me trees are evergreen and the temperature varies around 84 F
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