Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Wrong side of the Tracks

Maybe they will find a cure,

but for right now my blood is impure,

Going to leave this place for sure,

My reflection is on the wrong side of the tracks.

 

Tell him the stars is going to shine tonight,

Cause you won’t see me crying insight,

my blood is poison of a fire blight,

I live on the wrong side of the tracks.

 

I’ll raise my glass this night of redemption, naive,

We all knew this day is coming, now is time to leave,

He knows I’m dying, does he plan to grieve?

I’ll stumble on the wrong side of the tracks.

 

My pockets are empty; now my song is one of its own,

Lay me down in softly of meadows, unknown,

Like wings of a dove, he took me away alone,

And now my soul lives on the wrong side of the tracks.

Author notes

AIDS

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Klayer
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifuly penned/written

    • saddie23
      February 14
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for your contest. This was based on a dear friend who died five years ago today merely a dedication. Saddie23


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    Very heartfelt feelings were put into this write.
    The reader can feel the pain throughout the stanzas.
    Thank you for your entry.
    Soulful Woman

  • Still Standing gold member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply

    tear jerker

    Talkin about the tracks the whole way through being there. Getting infected there and dying there. Wow very powerful thanks for entering and good luck!!!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Using triplets to deliver a very serious message. The theme is very well developed and carried by both the triplet and final lines.

    Thank-you for the entry

    • saddie23
      November 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for the wonderful comment given. I actually wanted in the beginning to write a lyric triplet, but this will do for now. Sorry I haven't come back to comment. Been trying to pack to move across town. We should be moving by the first of the year. Trying to get a jump on the packing. Saddie23

  • SilentMoonlight
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've never read a poem about AIDS - cancer is the popular thing. This had a tune of its own and I liked it. It was melancholic and twisted together into something amazing.

    Thank you for entering my contest!

    • saddie23
      October 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for liking my poem and commenting. Saddie23

  • Judith Chandler
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really sad. "Wrong side of the tracks" and then "my soul" lives there.

    I like the form, sort of a ballad, as is the subject matter.

    • saddie23
      October 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      The form is Triplet's rhyming with a twisted end. I'm glad you liked the poem. Saddie23

1 - 10 of 10