I'm informal,Careless,Raw. I'm radical and somewhat flawed.
Gnawing on classic, sawing on drastic, to make it, a tad more elastic
Blasted rebels! Throwing pebbles at standard, and turning to pause
Towards burning buildings, applause, for the cause please..
Simply,Symbolizing, the economy
Author notes
5 lines. (make me feel it) go
A contest entry
- One winner, two options, ten entries, go. by Chocoholic156.
500 points, ended October 19, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
750 points, ended November 14, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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An interesting rhyme infested rant! It would be nice to see the punctuation straightened up a bit... commas always get one space after them to help separate the next word. The comma after "symbolizing" isn't needed at all. That sort of aesthetic attention would make it look like a much more intelligent write.
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Niccceee....felt that one...just flowed right through...
Great write, again...I love your stuff...
Smile♫ -
indeed
HAHA! you were right. I did enjoy it. do it big. keep rhyming.
nice.
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Nice piece. Like it a lot. Congrats on the well deserved bronze trophy for it. Has a lot in just 5 lines.
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Nicely done! I like the way it seems to pick up speed as I read it, or maybe it was just me eager to see what you said next. Either way, well done!
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A pleasing, though short, rap. It conveys (to me) a mixed message of a an unconventional soul seeking coventional approval.
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Intelligent
I agree with chocoholic and feetus. It is a clever rap. I am sure if it were longer it would have won gold.
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Well it actually is longer lol but i just took the first 5 lines because it was a choice in the contest, and it didn't fit any other option.
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lol, I liked the message that you were conveying throughout the poem!
My favorite line was:
Blasted rebels! throwing pebbles at standard, and turning to pause
that made me laugh. Good job with this poem, you have a great voice. -
clever!
This was alot of fun to read. An interesting point of view and great choice of words with good flow. G'luck in the contest
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That is great! The corners of my mouth turned up, too, as my mind soaked in the depth of what you have written.
Wonderfully done...
Smile♫
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My very first response before I read through was to smile. Something about the words like "classic" and "drastic"... I like the mental picture of "throwing pebbles" too A serious topic and yet I am grateful you caused me to smile
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