Standing on my bed, staring at the coffee can
Pondering when all of this bed wetting began
People at my church may say that I’m getting lazy
They still haven’t seen the other side of my mattress
"I’ve never been able to let myself get better"
Cause I always seem to be under a better bed wetter
And it’s just gonna stay that way forever, since
that son of a bitch purchased the top bunk.
I’ll never go back to the way I use to bed miss
Because, a good wetting does not grant me such bliss
Life is a pissed bed, and happiness is a goal
Since there’s never enough time to hit the bless'd bowl.
Feeling like I’m gonna just toss and turn
Laying way back, I watch my swollen bladder churn
Everyone seems to be bed wetting lugubriously
Finding me a dream where one can piss endlessly
But if happiness is life’s last yellow led better?
I’ll still be lying under the world's best bed wetter.
I watch my window get pounded by pee
Wondering if there is a cleaner way to communicate my plea?
Yet, I’ve never been able to let go of my bladder better
I merely seem to be under an Olympic bed wetter.
Author notes
Written January 27th, 2004
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1 - 21 of 21
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i've always found that "swishing" sound when i poke my belly and i have to pee, facinating...
but i dont like laughing and then having to run for the bathroom! those are embarassing, but i do know a couple people who've done it before, in public, at a bar...
but have had beer, instead of coffee...
Nyx... -
Definetly a unique humor write.
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A tongue twister here. . .speaking of twisting, I heard of a remedy once for. . .
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just awesome...... I must go now, been holding my pee for awhile now.... lol.
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Very funny. Who knows, mayber your Olympic bed wetter could turn you into an Olympic swimmer. Dive right in and enjoy the warm spots.
Keep writing. -
Wonderful poem! Hilarious, and very well written. Heh..this'll keep me amused for most of the day.
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niiiiiiiiiiiice..haha, it made me laugh. This was the first thing I've read all morning, so I'm glad it was a funny piece. Oh, and I'm terribly sorry about the Olympic bed wetter! it must be traumatizing
-audrey- -
This piece of poetry has unique comedic style over it,which causes the reader at least to smile and maybe even burst in to laughter while reading this one.A promising career in TV cartoon comedy shows just waits there for you.
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Wow! Wonderfully written! Thanks for sharing! ~~Shannon~~
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excellent
I really got a kick out of this! Fun to read aloud, a little tongue twisting involved...mmmmm....mmmmm unique subject i might add!! -
Greetings,
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This was hilarious..... that's all I can say. Thanks for making me smile this morning.
~Lise
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Oh dear that was a wonderful way to start the morning! Great job! Very very well done
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HAHAHAHA that is soooo funny! awww I feel sorry for you! but thanks i needed a laugh HAHAHAHAHA it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Shoot This Guy
Sweet Jesus...I know exactly how you feel. She was 320 pounds, all love and sweetness and cotton candy softness and she had the top bunk. And she drank iced coffee by the gallon - the servants would just wheel in one of those big sweating clay water jugs filled with coffee and she'd hoover away at the hookah hose. And she had the top bunk. Golden showers flood hidden bowers where the heart lies rusting. During sex she'd cry, "Urine, Urout, Urine, Urout, Urine, Urout!" at which point the butler, attired in umpire garb would grab my sweating heaving body and throw me into the pool. God I miss that woman - but Hollywood called and she was gone all to quickly and I've lived without golden showers and flowers and iced coffee all too long....
This is a damn fine write as befits your status as King of the Hobo Poets and I'd like to just kiss your ring or something, ya know? Maybe have you autograph my jumpsuit where the sequins are missing. Maybe just follow you around for a day and you can introduce me to your mother.
Your really, really good stuff makes me hallucinate. I think I'm leaving on a trip right about nooooooooowwwww....
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did everyone miss the awesome two lines you used to intro this baby..? or maybe they didn't. I don't know. stunning, really but i think i say that about all your machismo pieces. so i'll try to think of a new word...
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thought you would have liked golden showers...another great great
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all i got to say is depends, haha
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Hmmm... this is really different. I'll give you that, but it is funny. Which I do like funny things. Thank you so much for sharing your comical words and not so fun experiences with all of us here.
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APPLAUD
HEHEHE!!!! I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!! THANKS FOR SHARING THIS. I ALWAYS LIKE A GREAT LAUGH. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. ALWAYS ~STAR -
Another perfect poem...you damn bastard i swear you jsut crank those suckers outta ur ass...you suck babe...i wanna do that...no fair...great poem.
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Oh man, this is wonderful. If the guy in the top bunk is better than you now, simply get a bottle a day whiskey habbit and you'll have him beat in no time. Go for the gold, man.
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