Is there really a God? I hope so at least
A soldier at war--I'm fighting for peace
indeed--so they tell me or so i'm told
just a child soldier--but already i'm old
wearing mental weights that weigh me down
what will they think back in my hometown?
impressed, proud, happy or disappointed?
As a US soldier I'm one of the annointed
Disjointed and lost here in the desert sand
While I try to save souls will mine be damned?
I want to do right but it feels so conflicted
This twisted mission since I first enlisted
Marching through missions, I always listen
Will America know if my body goes missin'?
My fears are negated, I'm loved and hated
To serve my country--so I first stated
Forward I march--freedom on my shoulder
Undecided and delighted that I am a soldier
A contest entry
- What Do You See? (Military version) by Shadowsong.
1700 points, ended October 28, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
how bout it?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I think every soldiers are sometimes the most undervalued sect of our society. We want the freedom and rights but not the responisibility or price of it.
Well said.
-
-
oops can't spell worth shite this morning. lol. Must need more coffee.
-
-
Well Done! So much conflict within the minds of so many that are in wars they do not understand, but are their to defend our freedom...sad that we do not do a better job reasurring them and making them feel better all the time...our pride should shine for them just as theirs does for our country...deep thoughts of truth...excellent write...best to you!
mystic
-
sweeet
hit some nice notes (no chords - I'm not a soldier), but nice notes.
"'wearing mental weights'...drag my feet through the sand" is all I would've changed.
-
Loved this; it's the best one in the contest so far I think; uplifting yet still unsure, written by a man's hand with the views of a child - you did yourself proud with this one
-
I want to do right but it feels so conflicted
This twisted mission since I first enlisted
Yep definatly nice line!
what will they think in my hometown?
i would put a "back" inbetween the (think) and (in)
very nice poem it really seemed to start off slower and pick up at the end... the only probelm was that it had to end
.
-
My favorite part was..
I want to do right but it feels so conflicted
This twisted mission since I first enlisted
Awesome flow here
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
