My father came home drunk once again he could barely stand
Passed out in the chair with a lighted cigarette in hand
My mother sent me down so he wouldn’t catch fire
I wanted him to burn that was my secret desire
I took my time descending those squeaky old stairs
Praying he wouldn’t wake and find me standing there
I stood quietly watching it slowly burn down to skin
My only way to pay him back for I was only a child then
He jerked and twitched but did not awake
It wasn’t enough for I truly did hate
My shameful secret is that I loved him still
In spite of the painful memories I always will
It was not the first time I tried for revenge
For there were many times he’d come home drunk again
Once he passed out under the table on the kitchen floor
That time I kicked him one time or two maybe more
He never realized the next day or I would not now exist
He chalked it up to the nights events or would have used his fist
I’m sorry for the things I did and I’ve never told anyone
Now he's gone and I can’t take it back or make it undone
They say your childhood shapes the person you are today
Well, in spite or because of mine; non-violence the image I portray
Yet deep down in my very essence I sometimes wonder
If the anger is still there waiting to tear my world asunder
A contest entry
- Deepest Secrets REAVELED! by Sick Sunshine.
1000 points, ended October 28, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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"That time I kicked him one time or two maybe more"
just the thought of this makes me laugh a little.
How little but cute revenge can be... oddly.. =]
I really envy how you can still love a person that has hurt you soo bad..
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Thats the part that has confounded me for years that I could love him and hate him all in one. I even despised myself for feeling this way until I realized that it is human nature to love the one who gave you birth inspite of everything. But that doesn't mean you have to like them or wish to be around them. Thank you for taking the time to comment. God Bless, Jo-Ann
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love the one who gave you birth inspite of everything.
that makes you a VERY remarkable person. I could only wish there to be more like you in the world. so forgiving and loving despite of pain. you really are somebody to be admired and envied. -
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God Bless
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Excellent and heart felt write here
I was told of times when I was a child about things that happened for I had blocked them out of my mind . My older sister told us and even today I cant believe it or wont believe it .I think when the adults refuse to get help and the other adults around us makes us do things for those who are so mean and lost we tend to try to help ourselves and learn how to cope with it our own way in a childs mind . You arent guilty of anything honey for if he had been in his right mind and had been the father he should have been your love would have brought such joy in his life
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Thank you so much for the kindness and understanding of your words. They touched me deeply and I thank you for that. I didn't even know that I was bothered by these memories until I searched my mind for something to write. AP has been good for me in many ways. God Bless, Jo-Ann
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OH MY WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a poet to the highest degree. The imagery was outstanding. I could see and actually visualise what was going on that night. You have a very creative way to get some painful memories off of your chest and make it sound so beautiful. Wow I just love it!!! One of the best reads I have read so far...Good luck in your contest!!!!
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Your words touched me deeply and I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to readn and leaving such kind words. God Bless, Jo-Ann
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