Drench..................................
Absolute soak.....
heavvy........................................
Da(m/r)(p/k).....
Sea....
Author notes
2
A contest entry
- One winner, two options, ten entries, go. by Chocoholic156.
500 points, ended October 19, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Why not?
Comments
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Very interesting... ummmm... first, I was suprised that you could have a grammatical error in this short of a poem.
'Absolute soak' is in the wrong tense i think. Just doesn't flow right or sound right when I read it.
'Absolutely soaked' would sound better, I think, but that is just a suggestion.
Also, I am not a fan of the repeating letters throughout words, like 'Mmoisturee' it just doesn't work for me. As well as the 'Da(m/r)(p/k)', just write the words out, it won't take much longer and it will still flow and not distract the reader from your fancy little two words in one.
But good job on this poem, and good luck. -
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Grammatical error? There isn't any grammar here to get wrong. I don't know what you mean. If I wrote the two words out, it would imply a distinction between the words damp and dark (cliches) which I wanted to avoid. Fancy? I was aiming for a more universal tense, incorrect but still without those pesky suffixes that can pigeonhole a work.
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