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Confession

Once I expertly disregarded suffering
and pretended convincingly to myself
not to notice tears down the hallway

At any point some kindness may have turned tide
yet I became like negligent silence which is blind
remaining unto and only for my own vain breath

Surely none of the many reasons for my long held apathy
came close to anything forgiveness couldn't at least touch
however I was anchored to forget the person in front of me
 
And somehow it was only after I myself felt victim
that any portion of the horrible truth bore on my soul
when I realized the carelessness I had for this one girl

 

 

Author notes

It's the past.. but it still happened.
I go out of my way to try to notice things now.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Symphony
    October 15, 2008

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    "Once I expertly disregarded suffering
    and pretended convincingly to myself
    not to notice tears down the hallway"

    So many do, indeed, and far from agreeing with other comments added, I think that this opening stanza is the most powerful, and the one with the most impactive meaning - because so many ignore the suffering all around us; many of us still do, from those in our lives who are hurting, to the homeless on the streets...

    This had a gentle uplift to the end of it, which was both suitable, and promising; i enjoyed reading this very much


  • Sick Sunshine
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    to disregard suffering..

    could be seen in a variety of ways...
    kind of confused me as to what the secret is...?


  • PerfectImperfection
    October 14, 2008

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    Hmmmm ... You know, it is actually rare that we do learn from our mistakes often times. I suppose, better it is to plunge and sink along that drowning weave, than to never have let a toe slip into possibility. Nice write!


  • Congruence
    October 14, 2008

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    I don't like the first verse - I like the those that follow, and it is because those read well, that I am not keen on the first, just from a reading perspective it trips over itself a little and feels a little word heavy.


    Overall though I like it as a piece, it has a very unusual style and feel - it has a kind of flat feel, yet it has many emotions and thoughts and running through it.

    I do feel there is a much better piece in here, but that is not intended as a criticism - I just really like the way you have written this and I feel you could do more.

    Great piece though, different, without trying to be different.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think we've all been guilty of such as one time or another bro!


  • Cannonsfire
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww the past should stay there, we all do things we don't care for but we learn and we move forward. C

1 - 6 of 6