Clinging to the rope,
The frigid dark cloack of night,
envelops you, swallowed in dark,
Still you grasp it for dear life
balancing on a thin string,
with no where else to go,
It's an endless infinite plank,
filled with only torments
No place to rest,
or catch your breath,
every minute, every second,
you strive to survive
No one’s there to help you balance,
There’s no net beneath
To catch you if you fall,
by yourself, no souls to hear you call
The wind blows wildly to strike you off,
and it plays with you,
like a stringed marionette
and you've got to move with the strings
You fall with such an easy blow,
Like a twig snapped off a branch,
You hang below the rope now,
hooked around one finger
Why shouldn’t you let go?
It just never ends
So why not end it now?
You’re afraid to let go
But they all gave up,
Let go of the rope
Left you here,
All by yourself
So you let go,
Just one finger,
And you plunge into the darkness
devouring yourself self
You smile to yourself,
It feels sort of good,
No more need to worry
No more rope to hold on
The darkness never ends,
You still don’t see the light,
You’re still alone,
Down, Down, down…
What did you think
Comments
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oh wow. This sounds very dark, life playing tricks on the person and dropping them into the depths of despair. Maybe at the bottom there will be some light, and some hope.
Well written it was good.
I found couple of little errors you might want to look at J
Second line - dark cloack of night, (I think you have a typo there, should be ‘cloak’
In this line you have a repeated word “devouring yourself self”
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hmmm, there was some rhynme in this... although it definatly carried a rhythm. of which i enjoy! ^_^
I like your style of writing, it's true to yourselof, a personal style that is unique! and i highly approve of that! You have alot of talent and i am sure that you are only going to get better in time ^_^
well done, and don't believe in yourself - Believe in the Kamina who believes in you!!!
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Very nice write... I like how you said a stringed marionette! Keep writing!!!!
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You are indefinitely better at free verse than rhyme. It's a compliment, if you can't tell. Nice title. Can really feel the fear. WOOT! Love the second person point of view. The ending is a bit too hopeless for me... but good job!
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