You thought you could get this far
and pretend to know
what I am going through?
You try to comfort and hold my hand
to tell me you understand,
and that its all been done before.
But how do you know whats been done,
for you have never been
down this dark road,
walk in my shoes,
I dare you to try.
You don't know
how the hurting heart
inside my soul
burns with hunger
for something more.
You couldn't survive.
You have it all.
You have never known pain.
You have no right to say
that it will be ok.
Author notes
3.) "Walk a mile in my shoes; and enjoy the blisters."
Chocoholic156
A contest entry
- Prompts; by Hell In Harmony.
2200 points, ended November 18, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? How can I improve? What was your least favorite part? Your favorite?
Comments
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This is a great job on the prompt. I liked that prompt too, but go no where with it. Best of luck in the contest.
Mike
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You try to comfort and hold my hand
to tell me you understand,
and that its all been done before
love this stanza;
You don't know
how the hurting heart
inside my soul
burns with hunger
for something more.
You couldn't survive.
accidental rhyme makes me smile =]
not too shabby at all.
=] effective. got its point across,
well done.
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brava
-
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thank you.
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