living for forever
dying for today
knowing its now or never
with this idea i play
an homage for tomorow
a ditty for yesterdays
im loving in my sorrow
the trees rock and the hammok sways
the books they do surround me
the blues turned way up loud
the guitars seem to ground me
the darkness the silver lining to my cloud
not living in the present
the denial is blissful but
this cage is quite unpleasent
when your living in your own rutt
A contest entry
- Return of The Cricket by B Chandler.
900 points, ended October 27, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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In a way I get the message but in another way, I don't. You do have a few misspellings though:
Tomorrow
Hammock
Unpleasant
Also, watch your homophone of 'its' and ' it's ' (Note line three of stanza one. Are you in referrance of a contraction or possession? ) -
this was a great steve. it really seem like you gave denial human like characteristics.
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hmm... Alot of common images here, the last line is a cop-out i feel. Find your own words, otherwise a decent effort.
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