His feet are spread
and angled outward,
black shoes shining,
quite still and sticking up.
Now there's a gap much wider
than fingers on a spread hand,
than two front teeth
that do not meet,
than freckles like brown pepper
over the soft skin's curve
on a young man's cheek.
Author notes
50 words
A contest entry
- Between by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended October 28, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, what's your opinion of this?
Comments
-
I am smiling with this entry. It takes an entirely different tack from the norm and that is wonderfully unique. I enjoyed this from the vision of shiny black shoes to the soft freckled skin curves.
Delightful addition to my contest. Thank you for a splendid entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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I like the feel of this write ... the "capturing the moment" quality and the image at the end of the piece is powerful.
thanks and good luck in the contest.
-
This is an excellent poem. The more I read it the more I appreciate the tight structure and poignant content of this very fine piece. I almost feel I knew this young man.
Bill
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