You have no idea what I go through every day
I sit in front of that reflected creature to examine its flaws
And try to find a way to hide those nasty rings under my eyes
I scan for different ideals all scattered on top of my disdainful cries.
But I find nothing to elude disfigured traumas;
They somehow do not cease to break me apart.
And when I find a way to hide them, someone always messes them again.
So I try my hardest for my mascara to not get ruined,
But somehow you always make me spill my tears.
You have no idea what I go through every day;
I paint my face just so you can stop asking me the whys
And look at me with straight eyes and find nothing but happiness in me;
But honestly, I’m not even trying to be okay because I know I’ll never be.
So when I sit down to laugh and I stand up to cry
Beware this is just the mild effect of my self-induced numbness.
So don’t try to figure me out, don’t even ask me if I’m doing okay,
It’s obvious I’m falling apart in this twisted disarray.
I’m sorry I’m not the role model you expected,
But twinging my mouth tightly won’t change the fact of how I really feel.
I see I give you goose bumps whenever I speak the truth.
I will never be the novel you had ordered to your God.
I’m the one person you will always regret meeting
And probably the one person you would’ve loved to have.
So when I say it’s not your fault and I blame it on myself
It’s probably because I’m doing you the favor of destroying what you’ve left in me.
And I’m sorry you had to read this, but my words are f/u/c/k/i/n/g honest.
Don’t try to convert me into that someone I will never be.
Now I know it’s because of you I’m in this sick depression,
Because you have no idea what I go through every f/u/c/k/i/n/g day.
Author notes
Rant.... *sighs* How I need to not breathe anymore
XXVampireeyesXX
A contest entry
- Hate by ApathysEnemy.
650 points, ended November 22, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Don't mind me and my stupid attempts at being the best you'll ever lose
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is really emotional and the rhyme scheme is really good. The only thing I have to say about it though is that in the last stanza, you switched forms and I don't know if it fits at all
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ohhh i see .... i added some dirty pretty style to the ending sorry lol... i hadnt notice about the && but the slashes well they were meant so that ppl could see the cussing word I was using .. anyways Illfix the &&
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ok thats good!!
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mmm what do you mean with I changed forms?? I see this isnt one of my best hate hate poems... its motly venting ou all I dislike.... dunno please tell me so that I can fix it
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i dont know really it just seems different than the other stanzas. In the other stanzas were put together cleanly and proffesionally and then the last stanza it changes to the && and then the backslashes
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This is so sad & exactly how I feel everyday.
There's not much more I can say besides, I love this!
Great job && keep writing!
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This is a pretty good peice. I can relate to it in so many ways! You did a very good job writing it. Keep up your amazing work!
CrimsonViper (midoriko) -
Very painful. It is a very emotional rant. I always enjoy the emotion that I see evident in your poems because it is expressed so well, however, it saddens me that the emotions are true.
Great job with the poem. Keep writing.
Mike
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