You're going home, going home, gone away,
you went up to my Father's house today.
You're safe, you're safe, resting in his arms,
forever set free from this world of harm
We cry, we cry, our voices fill the sky,
but you, dearest lamb, have been lifted high.
The torch fell from your ever-living hand;
angels carried you toward the promised land.
You loved him; you loved him; gave him your life,
you turned to him with conflict, joy, and strife.
His still-scarred arms shielded you from pain,
in the moments when bullets fell like rain.
You went up to my father's house today
I'll see you someday; Father, this I pray.
--
Sonnet 49
Rachel's Sonnet
Author notes
In Memory of Rachel Joy Scott
The first student killed at Columbine HS
on 20/4/99
inspired by one of the many messages written on Rachel's coffin:
"Rachel, sweetie, I love you
can't wait to see you again.
Have fun in my Father's house.
I wish you were here
but you're in a better place.
P.S. Jesus, please take care of her"
--- Form ---
Sonnet, w/o iambic pentameter.
rhyme scheme: aAbb ccdd eeff Aa
(capital A is repeated line)
In a list
- iv. honorable • next in list
- + doves (4/20/1999) • next in list
- + crown of glory, crown of grace • next in list
- - sonnets: all • next in list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry Celebration #131 by Lyndon.
3000 points, ended October 27, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is most welcome.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This was so beautiful; I have no critique to give; it actually made me well up a little, reading it, and applying it to someone I once knew -
the words, i feel were chosen with care, and thought ... and this as a whole was one tragically gorgeous ode.
thanks for entering!
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Beautiful, heartfelt poem.
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Beautiful! If anyone deserves a sonnet it is Rachel. The tragedy set an example for all of us to live by and you have done a wonderful job by using a contemporary sonnet form for this dedication.
Love,
Amera♥
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Very interesting combination of forms, the repeat in certain lines gives the reader a feeling this is a whispered prayer, and one is brushing tears away and starting again. Perfect considering it's in the perspective of one mourning.
Very well done indeed. Best wishes!
Blessings, Sandi
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This poem touched me. A nice blend of emotion throughout, and a heartfelt message. Thank you for your entry.
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I like the inventiveness of blending a sonnet with a monotetra. The repetiton added to the poignancy of this prayerful verse. It is a loving tribute and proceeds gracefully from your initial prompt. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Very nicely worded Perdu. Good luck in the contest. Katie
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