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Source's of Completeness

Missing image
(*) 
Wondrous
hint of beauty
bestowed upon this night
Eyes sparkling amongst the skies
bringing comfort and peace
Mystery glows
brightly
Blending colors
between creature and man
show off a brand new style of time
Hint of passion released
expressing love
of life
Fantasy screams
within walls of the mind
seeking source's of completeness
Thoughts tend to linger
within the realms
of play
Softly her lips
tenderly part, wanting
to kiss the beauty before her
Fluttering golden wings
teasing her eyes
with joy
She'll soon wake
from her fantasy world
and again face the days ahead
Then by night she'll drift
into sweet thoughts
dreaming
(*)

Author notes

the Behrquain Swirl Form -

Syllable count:

2-4-6-8-6-4-2-4-6-8-6-4-2-4-6-8-6-4-2-4-6-8-6-4-2-4-6-8-6-4-2



Aesthetics are a HUGE part of your score....also,

....give credit in AN's for Form & Picture -



Prompt:



Picture: by Friess Benjamin -



Form: by Arkbear -



Good luck & God bless you!



- Bear -

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Arkbear gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello my Friend

     

    Presentation is stunning.............your Swirls, do, however, get smaller as they go down.....not a huge deduction, but I will be looking for consistentcy in Poetry Formed XXXIX

     

    *Eyes sparkling amongst the skies* 7 sylls.....should be 8 -

     http://www.wordscount.info/hw/syllable.jsp

     

    *Thoughts tend to linger* ....5 sylls.....should be 6 -

    http://www.wordscount.info/hw/syllable.jsp

     

    *Then by night she'll drift* ....5 sylls.....should be 6 -

    http://www.wordscount.info/hw/syllable.jsp

     

    Tory, Tory, Tory......how can I say this......you have missed out on a top spot because of your syll count......and this was simply one of the best in the contest, therefore, with a bit of editing, you will make this even prettier than it stands now......let me know when you have done so.......I stand in awe of your Theme here.....you took the Prompt and gave me something to really ponder and behold......thank you for all of your energy which went into this masterpiece of Form ~

     

     

    God bless you Dear .....Bear luvs ya and I hope you are doing well,

     

     

    Bear ~

     

     

     


  • sheltered
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I dare say the bear is gonna like.
    Great form again and passion.
    Who'd a thunk.


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it you did a fantastic job!!!


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Exceptional!!


    L.O.L. you have such a vast array of skills (pertaining to writing! ) that I'm not sure why you're not a famous author! clearly everything you pen is on par with whatever is out there in this particular genre, but because of who you are, I'm sure you could write any form, any subject and still put that passion with much promise to whatever you write!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellently formed and well thought out!

    Great swirling

  • haley27 gold member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Wow! This is so beautiful without this form I felt like I was reading a sonnet. You pulled me and never let go with the imagery and the beauty of your wording.


  • The Drifter
    October 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely poem-the difference between our dream world and reality.
    Well written and a sweet read

1 - 7 of 7