(First one,
Then another...
Dropping like flies.
Who's next?)
It's been a bad week, people.
Everything that could go wrong, has.
Who knows what I am saying??
Table 24?
Is that peas or mushy peas?
Any onion rings??
Yes, I AM your slave.
Yes, Dad. I'll get the electric,
I'll put the bins out.
I know you can't...
Move.
Mum? Yes, you know now?
How long left?
2-5 years...?
I love you.
Hi, little one,
Yes, this Thursday,
I want to give you everything.
I have no money...
I want to see you,
No, I don't.
I love you!
No, I don't.
My head is screwed.
No, it isn't.
I know you.
I don't want to know you.
I hate mirrors.
Misunderstood.
Those who understand, don't know.
Those who don't know, may understand.
I take no chances.
I've been hurt already.
There's nothing left of me to lose.
So, Who's next?
Author notes
I don't know if this is what you were looking for-
But it's meant to say that everyday of my life is pain these days.
(God, I'm a self pitying cow!!)
"I'm a munchkin's apple pie yada dida oh-so-in-love-with-life!!"
In a list
A contest entry
- What Hurts The Most by charmander13.
525 points, ended October 19, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Which are your favourite lines?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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So many mixed and jumbled up thoughts full of bitterness. Here are some short stanzas that make it fast-pacing and exciting. I liked the stanza where you're talking to your dad, it shows so much your bitterness and your sarcasm. I liked the title too, 'who's next' to make your life worse. Nice rhythm too. =)
Good luck with the contest! =D
So...who's next to put you a comment?
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this is great!! totally real and i can really feel the emotion flowing through as i read it..great read!!
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This actually worked really well from your point of view; at first I was thinking that it was indeed, another, self pitying rant - but the way you aligned the important words after all the full stops was very effective.
This verse in particular moved me in some way that I can't explain;
"Yes, Dad. I'll get the electric,
I'll put the bins out.
I know you can't...
Move."
Heartbreaking write; well done on getting it all out - and, I hope your life gets a little easier for you. Thanks for entering
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This is so sad, but everyone of us has been there at some time of our lives... perhaps some of us are there even now. As for me, i'm partially out of it, but yeah, still there nevertheless. Overall, i loved this write, for it has a lot of emotion running through it. i liked your writing style a lot...Good luck for the contest.
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Hey, I can understand your feelings- some days, it's like nothing you do is right, and all you feel is rage, anger, and misunderstood by the world... and thank you so much for writing out all your pain for this poem, in this contest.
Cheers to you, and hope you're feeling better soon.
Will get back to you soon! Meanwhile, chin up, and know that there's people (like me, and others here at AP) for you. .
All the best yeah -
wow I really really love this...I can see the frustration and the pain...as for self pitying NO WAY!! me understands hehe xxx hope u win this contest
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oh i am so sorry that your life feels that way this is an exeptionally good write though very earthy and real, i like it very much it creates effotless imagry hope things get better son take care littlefishone
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This makes me feel alot of my life total confusion like I am so alone I am sorry I am here for you but you know that be well
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