All to myself I drift away
To flashbacks of yesterday.
Showing me pictures in my mind
Entire memories I cannot find.
The picture seem half true, half dream,
There is no sound and yet I scream
All to Myself
All to myself they come again.
Fragments of memories from within
Something that comes without a choice
I feel the terror of his voice
Sometimes it's dim, sometimes it's clear
Yet I keep the voice that I hear
All to Myself
All to myself I hold and know
Misery of days long ago
Horrible days when he was there
The evil he held within his stare
Those days flash back as memories will
So I keep the terror and the way that I feel
All to Myself
All to myself I wish to let go
All those memories of long ago
So to forget I'll do my best
And hopefully I'll block the rest
All to Myself
All to myself I think you knew
All the things he used to do
All the things he used to say
The terror that I felt each day
Yet I love you and will try to smile
Flashing back all the while
All to Myself.
Author notes
A poem about a little girl emotionally and verbally abused by her stepfather.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wonderful
This one speaks to me of my childhood. I recently started a poetry portfolio exposing and re-living some of those memories I've kept "all to myself." I've posted it on other sites and I do get the occasional comment about "okay, this means nothing to me..." but most people are more understanding than I would have thought, and it's actually a very cleansing process. It's painful, sure. But that's what makes it potent to the reader. I'd encourage anyone who has pent-up childhood memories to take a year and sort them out in verse. Great poem here, Missy.
~David
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powerful
wow I can really get the little girls pain and feelings al locked up and trying to remember in order to be set free . love this dark emotional piece . deeply moved -
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Wow! Thank you very much.
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Your feelings were so well expressed in this poem, there are certain pains that will heal but the scars from it remain forever.
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This is sad. I know what it's like to have that pain and feel like you have to keep it all to yourself. My mother did the same to me when I was young. She completely denies it now. We've both tried to move on and pretend that it never happened.
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Great
I loved the whole blocking out memories theme you did here. That's one of my fave things to write about.
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Awesome write. I think it is very descriptive of how many if not all abuse survivors, with PTSD feel. There is this need to keep those memories and secrets to our self. Sometimes for safety, other times out of fear.Wonderful!
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Abuse is an horrific thing that lingers through the years and never really leaves a person, it might hide sometimes but it always comes back; you have expressed that very well in this dark emotional piece
Powerful poem!
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Stay safe
~Manda
Site Greeter -
Okay this is really good! My favourite part is "Entire memories I cannot find." I can fell this little girls pain.
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