because I had to tell you

…I’m not happy…I’m serious and no one could ever know unless I told them…even you hun. But I’m not happy because…since 7th grade I’ve been battling the “L” word… (Not lesbian you weirdo if that’s what you were thinking). No matter who I dated, my heart was just never in it…and then came you…again. And Idk… I felt better about being Danielle…according to the now sophomores… I freaking’ glowed. I was happy… and Idk lol. And the more I think of it and thought of it…I mean I was seriously falling…and hard might I add. But I mean I didn’t wanna damage anything; like I might be doing now, but I really don’t care… So you took my weird…distant vibe that I give off as me keeping you in the best friend zone. But I don’t know how much more I can stress, to anyone, that I’m not your average girlfriend. I could careless where you are and who you’re with. I’m not clingy… because life’s too short to hover over people. I believe in personal space and it’s what I gave you because I noticed that you’re a well secret kept person… But what I am is amazing to no boundaries… as conceited as that sounds. To me being with a person means having fun and enjoying each others company dude. Not swarming you with who what’s when’s where’s and why’s.

What attracts me to you is the fact that you don’t put me on a freaking glass pedestal and make it seem like I’m this fragile human being. We both know I’m klutzy, I’m crazy, I like to jump off things, and from time to time I run into walls. I like you because no matter the situation it’s just exciting being with you. Gah! I don’t know what it is, seriously I tried to put you out of my mind in that way or form…but it’s not happening…
And I could keep trying for the sake of you and your relationship dear and for the sake of sanity…honestly I would but I can’t. I can’t pretend that I don’t miss you.


I cannot tell myself that I hate you, your hugs, your warmth, the fact that seeing you smile makes me happier than watching a family guy marathon. I won’t say that falling asleep close to you with your arm around me is just the worse thing in the history of the world. I also cannot say that…a lot of my poems weren’t influenced by you…since I started writing…you mainly were my inspiration. And there is no way in hell that anyone could get me to forget the weirdest/cutest serious face that you made before you kissed me… My memory is too strong for all of that. Out of every guy I dated… You gave me the feeling that I actually have a purpose, that I mean something to you… Unlike well you know all the assholes that keep asking for.  You know…you told me that you’re not the nicest guy on the planet… and who the hell is? We all have crap that makes us evil, awful, awkward human beings. But that’s the way we were programmed. And there’s no way in heaven or hell that I’d give up the real you dude… unless I got paid 999trillion dollars. Think about it…I can get the race car that I desperately want…lol and in return I’d give you 25 million oh!! Lol, anyway… I guess Idk… I have so many freaking “dark secrets” that you’d think I was scary if I told you more… but eh… the world is full of darkness…and where there’s darkness there will soon be light… Anyway…wondering what the point of all of this is…? Ha…brace yourself…Back to what I said 40hours ago… From the time I was in 7th grade I fell…so so hard for you… And liking you turned into secretly loving you

I told you to brace yourself…

I know not something you wanna hear but I don’t want to go through my last 2 years of high school with “What if I…why didn’t I…What could’ve happened if I? I don’t want random freaking questions torturing me… I don’t want idiots to throw crap in my face if they don’t know what they’re talking about.

So…I guess what I’m saying is this…I’m not asking for a right now…or whatever. All I’m asking is that you take what I’ve said into consideration…follow your heart & soul and take a chance dude…I know it sounds like I’m forcing you to make a decision…and that’s the last thing believe me. All I know is that the worse thing ever is that I’ll lose you as a friend…