This guy I know,
No-one notices him,
Though his life is in the toilet.
No-one cares.
He could go out at 4 pm,
Come in at 3am,
But no-one would care.
He self harms,
And no-one cares.
Do you care?
Didn't think so.
A contest entry
- Sunday Afternoon Quickie by poetryality.
600 points, ended October 13, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
so what do you think?
Comments
-
Short&Sweet
This is lovely,
[If lovely's the right word for something rather dark]
You've created the right mood in this poem, and it works really well
'Gratz on a great write
xxxx
-
There are many that care! Does he care? That's the question for me. I like the feel of this poem because it makes us think. You also share that there is a bold pretense in your need for those who you think should love you to love you with the same amount of devotion you show. Oh my! There is much here poet. Thank you for this entry and I wish you the best in the challenge.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
-
Nice write Tim,
But I hope it ain't too personal,
Cause you must know we care, right?
<3<3
-
This is very sad and yet, so true
for so many people in our world
today. It's a terrible reality
and a great reminder to us all to
be more aware of our loved ones.
Also, for us to be more active in
each other's lives. You did a great
job bringing this quote to life in
this poem. Well done and good luck
to you with this one!
Jeremy0826
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