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Primal Scream

Missing image

 

something lost

  undefined

      something haunts

           chaotic mind

                something creeps

                     through icy veins

                         echoed shouts

                              endlessly chained

                                   something desires

                                         freedom from past

                                    something shallow

                               seeps unsurpassed 

                          something grave

                     seeks light of day

                     inching closer

               ever underway

          something cold

    unhinges despair

something dark

    comes up for air

         something stark

           whispers 'beware!'

                someone screams

                       in mindless fear

                             someone seeks

                              escape from here

                                         someone sees

                                      reflection in mirror

                                              someone moves

                                                        ever closer

                                            something dawns

                                       in someones eyes

                                  someone screams

                              again in surprise

                         someone frantic

                runs from the room

             but someone can't

         escape from doom

    someone despairs

wondering what 

  might still linger in

        the dead of night...

 

 


 

 


 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

prompt: mirrors

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • deercatcher
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Great minds think alike...
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/4419369


  • deercatcher
    August 27
    Edit | Reply
    Oui!


  • individuality gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    a good poem and quite effective wih the lightning jagged effect you have employed. ah mirors, i try to avoid them lol as they always tell me what i don't want to hear


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    March 23

    Edit | Reply

    Another awesome write Sis...

    Fantastic form, absolutely flawless wiv great rhyme scheme, rhythm & flow...
    A compelling write that enthralled throughout...
    Looks below, again I say ...Sure is a long drop to bottom of page...
    Keep up the good work...
    Well done!!!


  • Barry Hodges silver member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting piece of writing. I think I'd better add you to my faves. Maybe you'll see what you think of my wondrous works?


  • Cant force beloved
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mind capturing, the zigzag pattern was a nice touch too.

    Thank you


  • Draig aine gold member
    December 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    again shivers

    great flow and content

  • michaeline
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really creative.I like how you had thid laid out and the title was a good one.I can eaasily see why you were the honorable winner on this even though it should have won gold.Glad that I got to read this.

  • poetyaknoit
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow interesting poem. I like the shape and the rhythm and rhyme. Well done. Best of luck in the contest. Keep on writing, ~TC


  • Draig aine gold member
    November 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    OMG

    LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT


  • Ellis gold member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    very creative and effective


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    it is the life when you discuss it..either by the words of he poetry or in prose..your will find yourself in the uncertainity ..and that is it here even..well done...


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Like the rhyme, it suits this piece. The picture is awesome. I like that, also like the eerieness that is reflected in this piece.


  • c e ll a r . d oo r
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was awesome. the format was creative & actually added to the flow of the lines.

    great write!

  • Black Rayne
    November 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Straight to the top!
    absolutly amazing


  • Never Fall in Love
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A much much better ending. I'm glad I came back to read


  • Super-man
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What may linger. only to wonder.

    Awesome work.

  • Never Fall in Love
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I pretty much agree with Friday although I should probably say that I adre the rhythm. The end is just not up to par.


  • Exodus gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm... I like the rhythm of this but the end was very much handed to us. I would have liked it to have a bit less lead up, a bit less on the hints as to what was ahead I suppose. That said, the formatting really did it for me.

    Thank you

1 - 20 of 20