They hurt me
So I got to play my games
Show them to mess with me
This gun is fake, but this monster isn't
But now I'm splattered in blood
And mommy will know
That I let the puppy out
And she'll be mad at me
So I guess I have to kill her too
Author notes
heh... decided to have fun with it.
A contest entry
- Obscure beards and other hairy wonders by acari27.
500 points, ended October 27, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I like it...though short...but who cares...to me it conveys the right amount of chaos that someone can do if pushed hard enough...great write and thank you for commenting on my work.
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yeah, i agree a little short
that detracts from this sort of piece because im used to the shock factor
I felt you could have had something there, if it was a longer more involving story,still, i quite liked
This gun is fake, but this monster isn't
But now I'm splattered in blood
And mommy will know
That I let the puppy out
and
So I guess I have to kill her too
but was still waiting for the yay or nay moment, the 'yes im interested' or 'no move on' switch to trigger in my head.
so you hadnt lost me, you just hadnt really locked me in yet. then it ended . -
Very nice a little short though
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