my mind is racing
going 150 miles an hour
my heart palpatating broken with fear
when did this all happen
when did the cards fall
why did i try so hard
to fit in with it all
i was perfect when i started
i liked who i was
now i am lost in my own fear
but yet i know god is here
i will open myself again
to the person i was way back then
i liked her
she was strong,independent and cool
with a hearty laugh
now there are not enough shoulders
for me to cry
the tears i cannot hold back from my eyes
healing tears this i know
all i want is to find my way back and grow
i know myself
even if none of you know me
i know i could be happy again
know this
that you are not my peice of mind
even though i am raw and transparent
and my feelings are real
know i am stonger and that i will heal
i will stand tall because i do not just have myself to think about
i have a little one that i adore a care for and i must set the way
give her a better day
you may not be my forever
and i will not allow her to be hurt by this
i want her to know her father and family
yet my skin is thick and i will walk with a thick coat
for my sanity
even though its 95 fucking degrees!!!!
life has brought me to my knees
help
me
please......
Author notes
i wrote this poem for a dear friend,
she is going through it and i want her to know that she is strong and fabulous. no matter what.
A contest entry
- Pain And Emotion by AloneForever-.
700 points, ended October 31, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Your friend sounds like a really strong person.Se sounds like she is going through a tough time right now but with a friend like you she will get through it just fine.We all go through alot and need a friend like you to lean on and to encourage us.Your wors were heartfelt and my heart goes out to your dear friend.
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Truly sad
For her friends to be there to give her the strength she so need to go bewyond the tears and pain and find herself once again it is a blessing . Leave not the cold the hungry are those in pain to deal with the harshness of life alone lend them your wings to hold her above the dangers of the world untill she can fly alone once again
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This is really really really...wowww
OMG!
Your words spoke to me( sounds wierd huh?)
I really enjoyed reading this it helped me a bit
Can relate too well..
Thanks for entering and Good Good Luck
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Very strong!
I can feel the pain all through this piece. It plainly describes how a bad relationship can change a person. Love does stink sometimes, but the sad reality is that we cannot live without it. Isn't that something. Something that has the potential to knock us on our ass we can't do without....it's like an addiction well it actually is. I think i'd rather just have a cigarette. GREAT WORK!!!! -
Very difficult to read with my poor eyesight. Sorry about the points.
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Excellent
She has my empathy. A very fine write, indeed. You expressed yourself quite clearly. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
GOOD JOB***
It was very interesting. Definitely a common theme, and one people can probably relate too. I would say the title only seems to come into play in the end, wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be.
I really like the imagery in the first lines, "my mind is racing."
but I would have changed going to "speeding at 150 miles and hour."
palpitating is spelled wrong. I like the diction there though.
"why did i try so hard
to fit in with it all."
a cool line and rhyme with cards fall. But I wasn't exactly sure what was meant by cards fall.
It for sure has a strong sense of character, but I get the feeling that the narrator is trying to convince her self more than the audience. You need to show the audience that you are strong. I think that 95 degrees brings me to my knees doesn't exactly generate a strong person who will bounce back from the pain. Then to go someone help some one help. Just seems like maybe she isn't strong enough to make it on her own.
I like something like, "if 95 fucking degrees can't bring me to my knees..."
good work*** -
Awesome
Very touching!!!
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this is so strong and it really touched me! i love it all! i really get the idea of it! i hope it helped your friend!
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Now that is some strong will power showing right there.
Brilliantly portrayed in the strength of the words and the feelings of determination to survive, regardless of what comes.
A fantastic piece and should help your friend just the way you planned. The grit of teeth shown is what is needed and you did well.
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I see the panic in this piece and the frustration at self, I hope someone helps your friend because good times surely follow bad.
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