Take the path.
It's a new journey,
all I have to do is take it.
What am I scared of?
Is it failure or loneliness?
I know where I want to go.
I may stumble on the ground,
or stray for a bit,
but it'll be OK.
To get where I'm going,
I need to do this,
on my own.
I will prove to everyone,
that I can do it.
Not knowing what lies ahead,
is scary and thrilling.
New faces, places, and opportunities.
Branches will fall in my way,
rocks will be thrown at me,
but I'll take what I know,
learn from what's in front of me,
and move on from it.
I'll live the life I've wanted to,
and not let anything,
get in my way.
I'll run,
run until I get to the end.
Where it goes, I'm not exactly sure,
but I know I want to go there.
Yes I'm going to take the path.
Author notes
Option 2
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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welcome to all poetry
Hi kb682436
This is really good, i think we are all a little scared to take a different path sometimes
thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I liked our thought process in this piece. You aren't afraid to take the path. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Lady Altheia
Site Greeter -
Welcome to AllPoetry!
Good to have you aboard. Notes: ‘frightened’ or ‘afraid’ are sometimes more poetic than ‘scared’. Same with ‘scary’. ‘Terrifying’ or ‘frightening’ sometimes work better. Over all, I am impressed 
with the poem. Your take on the prompt isn’t exactly like any of the other poets’ so far. It proceeds logically and though it seems a little more prose than poetry, 
it’s good.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is great, and the message within is even better! Though we may be afraid, we'll never know what lies ahead unless we summon the courage to tread the paths before us.
My favourite bit was this one:
"I may stumble on the ground,
or stray for a bit,
but it'll be OK."
There's such a simplistic truth in these words! Well done, and welcome aboard!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Welcome to Allpoetry
You showed much courage in the end, I love the mystery and conquering of this poem. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Well done with your writing. It shows courage, despite the unknown of what lies ahead; facing your challenges head on.
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi kb682436
Very well written piece here. I love how your not going to let anything get in your way to make it down the path, this is a very positive write and that's what i like about it.
Good luck in the contest and keep writing
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welcome to allpoetry
My favorite lines are in your last stanza. I like the way you have expressed yourself here and the thoughts the picture inspired.
Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
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Very good--the form's much better
You don't need all the punctuation in the last stanza, especially the semi-colon after "You".
Example how to make this one line even with the others:
"New faces, new places, new opportunities.:
"New faces, places, and opportunities"
Thank you! -
Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello KB,
You use the word "rock" twice in the same context in different parts of your poem. I would consider changing one of these to eliminate the redundancy.
I think that if you make the lines more even your poem would flow better. I like that you used the picture to show the journey of your life and the choices you will have to make. Everyone goes through rough times, it is what you take away from your experiences (and even your mistakes) that matter. If you can share the experience to help someone else or learn a lesson from the things in your life, you are that much better.
Good luck,
Criss -
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Thanks for noticing the "rock". I didn't even realize it until I read it over agin. I changed some things around to make the lines more even to make the flow better and changed some of the grammar too.
I'm glad you saw what I was trying to portray about the journey of my life and the choices I have to make. I've had my fair share of experiences and mistakes that I've learned from. I never regret anything; I always learn from what has happened and move on, and I wanted to express that in my poem. Some people find it hard to grasp that concept of moving on, forgiving, forgetting, but learning from the past. If you don't learn, that's not good. I basically live by "whatever happens, happens" because I think everything happens for a reason, and they happen when they do for a certain purpose. The lessons you learn help you live your life to the fullest. And I also think you have to live in the present and soak it all up. You can't think too far in the future, while thinking about your future is important; you still have to enjoy the time you have now. -
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I believe that if you dont learn from your life experiences, the experiences of those around you, your mistakes and other mistakes.. than the time was wasted. Whatever doesnt move us forward or make us better was a waste of our time...
Bravo Poet!
Criss
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I really like the increasing positivity of the tone of this poem - it shows a great deal of inner strength and by the end I was really exited for you to take the path
very nice train-of-thought poem - I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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Hey there again.
The content is much better, the repetition of thought
is not nearly as repetitive. Good for you.
I would run through and clip the phrases, however-
the ones that aren't lined up with the rest of them.
And the only other thing is the punctuation. You
don't need all the question marks. Once again, let me know if you would like a picture of what I'm suggesting.
Otherwise, you've followed criteria.
Thank you again for your trust! -
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I worked on clipping some of the phrases and splitting them up to make it an easier read and better flow. Thanks again!
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Yes, new journeys are always full of fun.. exciting. I appreciate for the last line.. for you choosing to take the path. Its marvellous..
Keep writing.. good luck!!
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Welcome to All Poetry
I really like the message in this one! Something tells me that you are ready to take the next step into the unknown future, and that is fantastic! I think I would break this into verses to make it a bit easier to read, but other than that, I really like the message.
Best of luck in this contest!
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I like the independent message that you have put into this. A couple of suggestions though, I find that the colour combo is a little hard to read, as well as you have capitalized Failure and Loneliness. Best of luck in the contest.♥
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Thanks for your help! I made a few changes. Let me know what you think.
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Welcome To AllPoetry
Very nice piece with lots of good imagery and metaphor.
The format needs some tweaking so that it will stand out even better, as well as a little economising. Some phrases repeat content.
I will be happy to give you a Level 2 critique for the sake of revision. Please Message me.
Otherwise, if/when you edit, please let us know so
that we can give it a second lookie.
Thank you for entering.
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Thanks!
I made a few changes to limit the repetitiveness and make it more cohesive. Let me know what you think. Thanks! -
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