Mine

I

I hate this
I hate remembering your face
As you knelt down in front of me
On halloween
I hate remembering the first message
After I ran upstairs, shivering
The halloween before.
I hate remembering the way you watched me sleep
And the way I felt complete
I got rid of the ropes
That you placed around my neck
But I can still feel them

II

I hated when we decided
I was like Galatea
I am not the perfect woman
I am not the ideal
I am fickle
as you found that out.
And this is just a rant
To tell you how much
I hate remembering
You laying next to me
In that cold hotel room
I hate remembering
The way you looked at me
I hate remembering the hazey smoke
That filled the room
I remember feeling
So grown up
So adult
Such a child

III

Grown up
Yeah I have grown up
And I think
Sometimes I was an object
Put onto a pedestle
And left to decay
I woke up shaking
I saw your ghost
A wisp of smoke on the horizon
I re-read the emails
I don't know what they meant
The fantasys of a child
Mixed in with the
fantasys of the broken

I woke up, the pheonix rising from the flame
But you
You are a spark that wont go out on my feather
A coal thats burning into my skin, and burrowing deep
And you wont leave
You wont just fucking go