Goodbye

Five small fragile fingers

connected to my seven year old hand

press against his wide, open, cut palm,

the ocean escapes from his eyes,


he leans into to kiss me,

the glass between us catches it

and it freezes on my bedroom window,

then follows him as he goes to his car.


Sitting on my bed the next day

staring out the same window,

I watched that same car go by

but he didn't stop to wish me Happy Birthday


because he saw his mothers car sitting in the drive,

he didn't want to go in and face her

just to hear how big of a disappointment he was again,

the only thing she told him back then.


I remember how cold the November pavement felt

to my bare feet

as I ran to his car the next morning,

parked at the end of the road.

He looked so cold and alone

his body felt so stiff as I gave him a hug,


The sheriff showed up and made me let go of him,

Grandpa screamed "No!", and Grandma cried so hard.

There was a gift wrapped in pink in the back seat,

and my pillow was still in the back,


I miss those days of sitting in that car,

listening to the oldies, playing air guitar.

I wish I could feel his whiskers on my face again,

I wish I could smell the liquor on his breath,


I wish he was here to wrap me in his arms,

to tell me everything would be okay,

The note said that I added eight years to his life,

I wish I could of added more,


it said I was his princess, his sunshine,

and his best friend

he didn't have a Grandma, so I shared mine,

he didn't know how to draw, so I showed him,


he'd never of heard of Snow White, so I told him,

he'd never heard of God, and I wish I would have told him.

What I would give for one more day with him,

I would know what just to do and say,


just Lord please give me one more yesterday,

don't let a great mans life end that way.

Just give me one more yesterday

Let me cling on to his caramel skin,


let me see my knight disguised in a Kroger vest,

just give me him

and I'll give you the rest

Just give me one more day


of playing air guitar,

listening to the oldies,

sitting in that car.

As I sit here at my computer


wearing his big old plaid T shirt

and his baseball cap-

I close my eyes and go back to that night,

but instead of just sitting there,


I open the window

and don't let my best friend go.