I don't want to cry myself to sleep,
Anymore
I don't want to flee from you,
Anymore
I don't want to get lost in my own shadows,
Anymore than I already am.
Feel the sad blood run through my veins,
Smell the dirty cloth clean my body's injured wounds,
Stars, so bright, will never shine for me,
I no longer know what to do,
But I do know that I no longer want to live my life like this,
Anymore than I already am.
Author notes
"I'm a munchkin's apple pie yada dida oh-so-in-love-with-life!!"
A contest entry
- What Hurts The Most by charmander13.
525 points, ended October 19, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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ylova,
What a poignant poem this is, it speaks to me of the sad state of life lived for the simple sake of living it and how at times one has the strongest desires to break the cycle. To me it seems like we allways have to hit rock bottom before we are finally ready to move on and make a new life.
I like it, I like it so!
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I picked at random and hit the jackpot! (bells ringing, lights flashing, hehe!) So well expressed. I'll continue my excavation...
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wow
so sad a cry for help. you have not written words here but feelings are on this page. Many people are badly broken spirits dashed against the rocks you have caught their plight, it is written here. Bravo! this is a poem to be proud of. I pray it is merely writing for you, Boog
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Wow.. your short poems are great but when you elaborate on a poem like this it's incredible. Such great description and imagery.. it's spectacular.
Good luck in the contest =)
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i liked this a lot... it seems so real and sad. the depth of your words really gets to the heart. Thanks for sharing and good luck for the contest.
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Ohmy I just remembered- u forgot to put "I'm a munchkin's apple pie yada dida oh-so-in-love-with-life!!" Sorry but could you do that now- it's kinda meant to mean that you read through the contest page..
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Oh crap! I am sorry! I did read through the contest page and I saw that, and I smiled at it as well. Hehe. But I just forgot to put it in the AN because I came back later to do the contest, so yeah. but I will put it now! So sorry once again. Hehehe.
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I can understand the pain you're feeling- how you "don't want to cry [your]self to sleep,/Anymore", how you "don't want to flee", "don't want to get lost"... I get your pain, and it is very raw and real indeed.
Great job in this contest and thanks for entering!
Will get back to you soon
All the best (hope you feel better yeah)
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i felt this pain life has guided you down many dark paths were it has left you lost and empty time to change a change worth taking were not robots its only right to speak up and say enough is enough
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this is so deep, i love it, great job and good luck
, take care
Stephanie ♥
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I personally think this reads better with the second stanza before the first ... of course it could just be my silly little mind! This is amazing through and through
Best of Luck!
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Moved
I kind of know feel what you are saying. I drink, its easier to pass-out than fall asleep. -
I loved this! Such amazing amount of sadness and hurt, I loved how you ended it to add more hurt to it. Fantastic! Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest. (BTW, you should write something that is not contest related
)
~Noor
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SO HEARTFELT!!!!!
Sometimes one must go forward no matter how hard the journey will be.
I had to go ahead and with sadness and sorrow and very poor, but even through it all there has always been a light ahead, dim at times but always there.
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'Smell the dirty cloth clean my body's injured wounds'
That line was the one that really got me the most, since it is the most visual line that I read there. Strong in it's aim, this poet definitely gives out it's message, of living life. Keep it up and good luck in the contest -
Pain is read from the first line until the end of this stirring poem. I feel somehow, that this write of urs was not written long ago and that it is instant. I mean you just wrote it from what flowed from your mind. You didnt have to think what to write (am i right?) I feel the thoughts just flowed, the reading is effortless, smooth and heartfelt. I like the style, freeverse bign my favourite. Good work!
Lencio
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