A beauty here within a tale undone
Who'd coy in silence 'neath her lonely veil
Swore by her life she'd there contently shun
Away all hearts, to not let love avail
One autumn day her darling eyes looked in
The soul of whom she dreamt so through and through
She tried her best to not give into sin
Of that which was seducing: love is too
But fatefulness did grant a brighter face
To all the life within her; she then gained
What she'd not known of that which gave embrace
In every sweetness that his eyes unchained
The tables of her beauty he did turn
When it was he, for always, she did yearn
What did you think?
Comments
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De profundus!
Wonderful, especially for a sonnet! So many times the flow in a sonnet seems bound in style, but this flows freely! Good job!
It captures the essence of seduction and yearning in the very way the lines run (not to mention the words.)
She tried her best to not give into sin
Of that which was seducing: love is too ----- excellent lines! They really sound their barbaric YAWP above the rooftops!
the ending couplet sums it up, and gives the known outcome very nicely!
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Another masterpiece
i feel there's a lack of feel in this one, you should extend the emotions and wanting of her. The theme of this poem is brilliant, and it's beautiful too. You are a talented writer
you could make it erotic too
but i wouldn't really recommend that, your style embraces your personality. And It's brilliant
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A lovely sonnet, and being partial to rhyme, I did enjoy this lyrical venture. An interesting story this one. Nice Work. ~Pamela
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Makes me want to dance--a minuet.
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