Climbing up my naked leg,
this intrepid ant should be
squashed flat for his temerity.
My hand is poised above the brake of hair
in which the struggling pilgrim tickles me.
Ignorance has surely led him there,
which must explain why I still hesitate
to end his foolish trek--
as hopeless as my own.
A contest entry
- Share your poems with me by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 174 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I fell off the face of the earth D: by Jasmine Rayne.
1000 points, ended November 2, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I LEAVE...YOU WIN by honorable mention.
1477 points, ended November 13, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything I can relate to by AngelSeeker.
1400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Your Best by JustFallingApart.
400 points, ended January 20, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaranthine Lover's Getting Rid of Some Points! by amaranthine lover.
1750 points, ended April 22, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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20.5/25
An interesting piece. Thanks for entering. -
a good piece of poetry penned that flows smoothly, interesting, that one would wish to kill a poor defenceless little ant.
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Poor and defenseless? There is a reason that ancient enemies were tied down spread eagle on anthills. Ants are the most venomous creatures in the insect world. The prize for “most venomous” goes to the harvester ant (Pogonomyrmex Maricopa), whose poison is more potent than a bee (12 stings will kill a 2 kg rat). Ant venom can also contain allergenic proteins, which can trigger a potentially lethal immune response in sensitive people. To hesitate to end the ant’s hopeless trek is the act of a poor, defenseless poet trying to make a point about the harmony of all life and is, in biological terms, rashly foolish.
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wowsers, and here i was thinking they were just these little things that ran about in pants, i always wondered as to their poetential!
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Hey, this is really different. I don't think I'd ever think to write poetry about an ant crawling up my leg. LOL. But you have done it, and added a parallel meaning in the last line. This made me smile. It's great!...alby
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i love this. i love brevity and bugs haha. seriously i usually free bugs that wander into my domain. great write lifted my spirit to think of the pointless journey we're all on.
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Wow, this is interesting, it reminds me a lot of a poem that I wrote called "The Dead Toad."
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Hmm, very interesting. I often feel that way, I've just never looked at it from that angle. I like it. Wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing.
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I love it. Struggling pilgrim.. oh it's great.
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Nice job. I have sometimes pondered that as well. When I do the offending critter is often brushed off or even shook off outside.
Though, mostly I dont think about it and they get squished.
Mike
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"Ignorance has surely led him there..."
Is that what leads us all on?!
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I can only speak for myself (I'm only guessing about the ant). But the older I get the more I realize how ignorant I am, and how that ignorance leads to curiosity, and how curiosity makes life so interesting, and how the combination of curiosity and ignorance is sometimes dangerous).
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I like this. you've created aloy of imagery. Best of luck, hope all is well
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Good luck on your contests. This poem was short but it says volumes. ~Sie
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Very nice. I enjoyed reading this and can easily see how it became featured. There have been many times when I've been in a similar situation lol. This most certainly made me smile. Great job and keep up the excellent work!
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It's rare thing when so few words and lines say so much. Your reply to AngelSeeker was absolutely priceless! To me, you're having a bit of an epiphany here, realizing your own insignificance by means of a creature that you deem insignificant. No, not AngelSeeker, I mean the ant. Astronomy has always put me in such a mood... looking at pictures of 'galaxy clouds' like in Coma Berenices... hundreds if not thousands of galaxies each containing tens if not hundreds of billions of stars all captured in one photo's look at one infinitesimal sliver of the sky.
Nice choice of words here, I particularly liked "brake of hair". I failed to mention that I liked the interesting use of the word "scrim" and other nice verbal flourishes in the last poem I read.
Its interesting that you don't feel compelled to stick to any particular rhyme or scheme... your style might be called "Free Rhyme Fusion".
I like it.
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Ohhhhhh! "Free Rhyme Fusion," eh? I like it--it's sooooo avant garde.
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i enjoy this one because of the reality in the meaning of it
is good. -
lol this is kind of serious , humorous , dark , light and airy all rolled into one!
great job i really love this piece!
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this intrepid ant should be
squashed flat for his temerity.
These were some funny lines. Funny until I got to the end, that is. It made me wonder how many people may think that I should be squashed flat for my temerity in something or another. -
I don't know what to say. I'm not sure how this fits my contest. Better luck next time.
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Not to worry.
You are probably one of those lucky people who doesn't have ants crawling all over you.
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Please read the rules
This IS interesting. Do you have one with between 20 and 40 lines you could enter? -
This is interesting. I mean comparing a human beings trek in life to that of an ant. Very creative. And I belive to be a very deep question. Good write and good job. Thanks for entering my contest. I appreciate it.
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I quite like that poem, refreshingly simple and direct, yet complex with it! Good write!
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